I've never identified as gay or bisexual, but obviously being here and going to the trouble of making a login is a pretty big step towards needing to come to terms with that. For the past 3-4 months i've been making an exception (sexuality-wise) for this one guy. He's in the year below at my school, in Australia btw . I noticed as long as late last year .. ago that he was slightly different, he had these really cool eyes, really cool hair, the lack of meaningful adjectives i presume is me trying to dispel my own feelings, idk. But yeah then the start of this year came around, everything was absolutely normal. On a bus trip (school excursion) i was at the back and he happened upon the rear facing seat - soo much eye contact on that journey haha, whenever i looked at him he was looking back.) After that I started to realise him again, look out for him at school. Then camp. Tents, sleeping outside, the lot. Since i'm in the year above i was a leader, he was in a different group to mine, but at the same larger campsites. Which was cool, we got talking, he's shy, but a great guy to be around. He isn't really a part of the main group in his year, so he hung around with me a fair bit on that camp, nothing happened, just talked, mucked around. After the camp we didn't really speak alone. If i was with a few of his mates, he'd be over in a flash. Most of all, for me, between classes and stuff we'd alwaaays make eye contact, not always 'hello,' but always eye contact and often smiles. And if i were to quickly look he'd be looking back 9/10 times. This continues to this day. A few weeks ago before the holidays i was saying bye to a few of his mates, high fives etc, he was a bit behind them, and we hugged. A little longer than normal maybe 5 seconds, felt great. Some other stuff that might be useful to me but i don't really know is; he's got the neatest handwriting i've ever seen from a guy, perfect hair, skin etc (all boys school,) left "interested in..." on facebook blank and that's all, i think. Also, i'm not sure if this is a good sign or not but he doesn't really show an interest in girls. He doesn't know any of the girls that the guys in his year hang around, never had a girlfriend and i'm almost certain he hasn't done anything with a girl. But yeah while it's not the same as liking a girl, I am ridiculously obsessed with this guy, and i'm too gutless and ballsless to do much about it. Thanks so much for all your help
Hi, and welcome to EC! You know... you may have just found love, or at least infatuation You say it "isn't the same as liking a girl" but then you also describe someone that you obviously feel a strong fondness for so, in my book, it's something you need to at least explore. First things first: Would you be ready to approach a relationship with him if that opportunity opened up? From what you're saying, it sounds like it, but I'd suggest you think about it in a little more concrete terms. From what you've said, it sounds like he's probably gay or at least bi, and he certainly seems to have shown an interest in you, so I think it would be fine to start exploring what could develop. But to do that, you will probably need to take the first step. You don't have to say "I'm a poof, want to date"... you can just say "Hey, would you like to hang out" or go to the mall, or to a movie, or come over to your house, or any of a dozen other things. And maybe just see how the vibe goes. At a certain point, one of you may have to come out and say what you're both thinking, but I think you'll find that isn't as hard as you think. Finally, for you, if you start considering that you might be bi or gay, how does that feel? Is it OK? scary? something else? Before I say anything else, it would be helpful to know what's going on about that in your head. Hope some of this helps... if you can fill in a bit more, I'm sure you'll get some more input from others as well.
Thanks Chip, Answering your last question first, it feels fine, but i've only ever considered the thought of being bi/gay involving the one guy. But yeah, with him, it feels right. I want to approach him and i wouldn't mind the relationship thing at all but there's a long way to go before that as you said we really have to hang out outside of school in order to be alone and stuff.
Actually, this kind of reminds me of how I met my first bf/came out. Not saying that necessarily proves anything about your case, do with it what you will, but there it is all the same. I definitely recommend spending some time with him, if for no other purpose than to see how it goes, how you feel, and so forth. My only word of caution (not that it sounds like you need to be terribly careful here) is to make sure you focus on you and your reaction to the situation as well as on him - don't just make it about him, even if he *is* the only guy to catch your attention at this point. Basically, choose it because you want it, not because you can't help yourself - be honest and respectful with yourself.
Thanks for the great advice I'll definitely be spending some time with him in the coming days/weeks. Noticing you're quote thingy at the bottom if my reputation wasn't at stake i'd be all over him probably haha and would've maybe acted by now.. but i can't use that as an excuse i guess, i trust the guy - he's not the type who'd spread a rumour if i'd approached him and he turned me down. But it's not the damage to reputation that's really stopping me approaching him, more a fear of his rejection - i suppose i don't/can't know for sure if he'd be cool with it or like me back.
well the quote thingy is more about being honest with yourself about what you really want, so it sounds like you're good with that. And fear of rejection is totally normal, gay or hetero. welcome to the chase! :-D I hope things go well with him, whatever that turns out to mean.
Hey, welcome to EC, hopefully you'll make loads of new friends and you'll work it out from here. Just read out forums on this website and hopefully it will work out. I was reading the replies to your thread above, you said Thats cool that you're so honest about it, at least you know that; but I think just go for it. If you find a moment when you're alone, ask him if he'd like to hang out like Chip said. And then just take it from there, just don't be afraid of rejection because it seems to me he likes you as well ... hope everything goes well for you (*hug*)
interested on fb is blank? thats a yellow flag, buddy. a straight person doesnt hesitate to put their interested in up. unless theyre lazy, but thats usually not the case
