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Mixed freaking signals....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MommaFrog, Nov 4, 2011.

  1. MommaFrog

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    So, the girl i'm in love with put this on facebook:
    If you hate me ....................Delete me.
    If you think I'm nice ................... LMS.
    If you think I'm a good friend ..... Comment my status.
    If you ever liked me ................... Poke and i wont tell.
    If you like me now ..................... Inbox me a heart and i wont tell.
    If you want to date me ............... Inbox me a :slight_smile: i wont tell.
    If your brave ................... set this as your status

    I liked her status, commented, poked, and inboxed her a <3

    I then put the same thing on my facebook status... she liked my status, commented, poked me , inboxed me a <3 and a :slight_smile:

    What she dosn't realize is that I unblocked my ex that she has been seeing... all over her wall is a ton of lovey dovey bs.... after her telling me several times that he was a liar, a cheat, and she was done with him ((see my comming out topic about telling HER))

    Lately she has also basically ignored me non-stop... a conversation has gone from hours of randomness to "Hey" "Hi" "Well.... I've got school tomorrow, I'm goin to bed" "O, ok night"

    So I just don't know what to think... I feel like she's toying with me, either that, or, she's not sure how to deal with being attracted to women, or more specifically, me.

    Am I crazy? This is tearing me up inside...

    So, aside from this, she is aware of all of my other issues...

    My mother is steadily getting worse... I tried to tell her I'm gay and she just kept interrupting me and changing the subject...

    I feel like im sinking further into this depression... and I just dont know what to do anymore....

    Am I crazy for feeling this way?

    Is she toying with me or confused?

    What the hell am I suppose to do?

    I'm so tired of feeling like this, I just want to be loved, and love someone... but more than anything, I just need a good, understanding friend to go see a movie with, or go shopping with....

    I'm literally crying right now...

    I hate this
     
  2. MommaFrog

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    Wow... noone? Really?
     
  3. Kerze

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    You need to talk to her, face to face in private without needing to be anywhere else that would limit your time.

    Tell her that you meant it and that you want to date her and you hope she meant it as well but you don't know how she feels because of all the mixed feelings you're getting and all of the stuff that's written on her wall.

    Seems like the only thing to do in my opinion but I'm no expert, don't do anything you don't feel is right.

    Hope I helped, good luck with everything (*hug*)
     
  4. Eleanor Rigby

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    I understand you must feel very confused about all this.
    Personally, I don't think I would have any kind of trust in that kind of status on Facebook. I totally understand that you saw this as an opportunity to open up to her about your feelings, but she may have understand it as a sort of game.
    The fact she is currently talking with your ex in a sort of lovey dovey way isn't helping much either.
    I'd be very cautious here, because things are really not clear and I don't want you to be hurt more when you're already going through a tough time.
    If you want to go ahead and clarify the situation with her, I definitely suggest that you do it in person.
    But maybe it would be wiser to put things on hold for the moment. You're having a lot of things going on already with coming out to your mom, being uncomfortable around your family, taking care of your baby and dealing with depression. I doubt it's the best time to seek for a relationship.
    Take one thing at a time.
    I think it would be great for you to find some support. Try to find an LGBT support group or a PFLAG chapter in your area. Getting in touch with people who have been through the same thing you do at the moment can help you a lot.

    Take care of yourself (*hug*), Cécile
     
  5. Lexington

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    Let me boil down what ER said:

    It's Facebook.

    Most of her actions and words suggest that nothing's going to happen. She's kind of a friend, no more. The fact that she sent you a <3 on FB means very little in comparison. If anything, the comments she left for her ex suggest that's her way - she talks that way to everybody. Holding on to that exchange is like the high schooler who holds on to the time so-and-so TOTALLY smiled at her in the hallway, and so that MUST mean something is going on, so why is she so distant?

    You seem more than a little besotten with this woman, so I really think it would do you well to cut her loose for the time being. You've got enough on your plate without playing the insecure teenager in your (scant) spare time.

    Lex
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Hey im sorry you are having such a tough time.

    I think sometimes when someone is having a tough time it is easy for them to try and cling onto the one thing they see as good, or hopeful and then they almost hang their whole happiness on that one thing or one person. Like in your case I feel like if this friend turned around to you and said, 'you know im so glad you came out, I have been questioning my sexuality on and off and I really like you, can we give it a go' you would feel like all your prayers had been answered when actually although you would have her you would still have the issue with your Mother and your course and your ex.
    Your friend is obviously having some issues of her own and its definately possible that she is taking a bit of time to come to terms with you liking her (I think this is more likely than just the fact you like girls but it is possible). She may not have read anything into the facebook thing, I dont know about where you are but I have hetrosexual friends who put in their info that they are married to a same sex friend or gay friends that put they are married to opposite sex people they just do it for fun so its possible she hasnt read as much into this as you have.

    I think you should give her a bit of space, whatever the eventual outcome nothing is going to be fixed right now. I know it is tough, have you downloaded any PFLAG information for your Mother? I know people discussed in another thread that you are not that close to any LGBT groups but if I remember correctly someone told you where the nearest ones are, now I appreciate in your current situation it may not be possible for you to get to one of these groups but perhaps they have a contact number where you could perhaps at least talk to someone about what you are going through, they might know about some groups or at least have some good advice.
    It is important that you just take a day at a time, focus on your daughter and how beautiful she is, it is going to take a while but it will get better.
     
  7. Ianthe

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    Actually, I think you should just ask her. That's usually the easiest way to figure out what someone means.
     
  8. MommaFrog

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    I've decided to not talk to her about it, or about much of anything for awhile. I have to much going on for her drama, and its just not worth it right now