My first lesbian crush at 29 - what the hell do I do

Honestly, it sounds like she's into you & putting there for you to know that she's interested. If you like her & she's into women, I say that you should let her know how you feel. From what you've said, it certainly sounds like she's gay & that she may have already picked up on how you feel about her, hence the flirting & the obvious comments. While you shouldn't do anything you're not comfy with, you should at least tell her how you feel & maybe go from there. As for the nervousness & crushing & anxiety about how you feel towards her, welcome to the wonderful world of attraction & dating. I think how you feel about her is pretty much something all of us have been thru at one point or another, whether we're gay, straight or bi. God knows I've felt that way over a couple of girls & at least one of my ex-girlfriends, so I think that's all just normal jitters. She seems to have sort of made the first move, so how you decide to move forward with her is up to you! I wish you all sorts of good luck! (*hug*)

NB: Her 'date' that she was telling you about seems to me, from the way I read it, to have been an attempt to perhaps get you to be jealous, which is also something Ive had girls do to get me to ask them out. It could be on the up & up, or it could just have been a way too try & get you to ask her out. You never know...

 

I don't know if she was trying to get you jealous or anything, but I would say that a few things are clear.

1. she likes girls
2. this date didn't appear to be a really serious thing
3. she likes you

Given this, I don't see any harm in asking her out. My only qualm is this line.

>>>she said she just didnt date, shed just see a girl in her bed and be like "I guess we're dating now".

Mind you, I don't have any qualms with people who like to sleep around. But the thing is - it seems just from that line that she tends to move pretty fast, and that she's a bit casual about the whole "dating" thing. If you're hoping that a relationship with her will be a very committed, long-lasting, exclusive one...well, I won't say it definitely won't be like that, but it's more likely to be a casual one. Given that, are you still interested? If so, just ask her out.

Lex

 

i agree with kiersten-- you should tell her how you feel. she likes girls, you like girls, you like her, and she seems to like you, too. there's a lot of potential here!

also, being confident and not awkward in front of a person you like is easier said than done. but you can do it. totally. you know what you want, now go for it. and if it doesn't work out, then hey- that's life. you'll never get anywhere if you don't try.

 

Go for it, girls can do amazing things for you haha

 

Sounds like you'd definitely benefit from dipping your toes into the same-sex dating pool. It was the sane with me... I had dated one guy for three years and cared for him very much, but never felt truly in love with him or even really all that attracted to him. It was the same with other men, and I was under the assumption that I was asexual. Then I met this open lesbian who was very attracted to me and flirted with me relentlessly (much like your trainer seems to be doing with you!), and I quickly became infatuated with her and we are now girlfriends of nine months! So I strongly encourage you to go for it, because I think amazing things could come out of it for you. No harm in trying. A new experience is a new experience.

That being said, I think your first line of attack should be establishing that you're attracted to girls... Give her the green light, y'know? Just say something in passing, or make a joke about it... Whatever you would normally do. For example, think of a REALLY HAWT celebrity crush... And squeeze her into the conversation... (prime choices: Kate Moennig or Jackie Mohr... *droooooool*) and make sure you make it evident that she makes you weak in the knees. Then once she knows you play for her team, you're a shoe-in! Sounds like she's trying to figure out what your "deal" is, so that should definitely give her a boost. Or, if you'd prefer, just ask her out, straight up! Good luck! Please keep us posted!!

 

Id say she already seems to love what your doing. Perhaps you could bring up something about her date.

 

Just to make sure I got it right, you/she didnt actually say anything directly but you think she was a little off with you?
If this is the case I would say that you are probably reading more into this than there is but it could be true.

If you feel like you want to just forget it then that is cool.

 

"im so outgoing w boys! not fair!!!"

HA. i think there's a reason for that one.

 

I totally agree with addie88 you are awkward with her because you like her and she does something to you.
Perhaps she was being short with you, but there are also a million other reasons why she was short in her text, like perhaps she was busy, maybe she was doing something else at the time, maybe she was with someone else, etc.

 

well she admitted she likes girls to you. maybe at the next training session you can say something like 'hey do you want to hang out sometime outside of the training session?" it's innocent enough. if she says yes, that would be cool, then hang out and get to know her outside of the work atmosphere. if you feel comfty then you can tell her about your interest in same sex. if she says, "that woudl be great but i have a rule not to hang out with my clients". then you can joke and say "ok, so how about if i wasn't your client anymore...ahhahaha" or you can say, "no prob, totally understand, but if i lose 5 more lbs, you owe me a drink." hahahah.

either way you kept things funny, light, airy, and friendly. good luck.

---------- Post added 9th Nov 2011 at 12:56 PM ----------

you are outgoing with boys probably becuase you really dont care if it works or doesn't work out. you are nervous with girls because you actually like them more and you're hoping you don't mess anything up so you analyze and over analyze ever text, situation, and interaction. if it was a dude, you would probably not give it much thought or care or just be more free in whatever you wanted to say.i would encourage you to adopt this same behavior with girls. dont be so tense about every text, call, interaction, wording, etc. just be yourself because that's what peoppel end up liking anyway, the real you.

 

She so likes you....

 

I may not be so fond of teh wimins, but I'm jealous now You have fun now, you hear?

 

Are you waiting for a monogrammed invitation?

Lex