~!!!PLEASE READ!!!~ Ok, i have a huge problems as of the moment. My best friend...we'll call her Becky, wanted me to sleep over to her house as a basckyard camping kind of thing. I said great that sounds super fun so i went to ask my mom (on the phone) and she said flatout "no". This threw me off my feet because although i would've expected the answer 5 or even 2 months ago (it's been 4 months since i told her and dad)...but now, after we made so much progress i want to know why all of a sudden a little issue like this is such a big brick wall stopping us. I mean ok im a guy, she's a girl. Ok but i have NO sexual interest in females whatsoever so whats the deal? I mean her mom said it was completely fine (she's knows im gay)....but my own mother wont let me? Becky's mom should be the only one who should have a problem with this for its her daughter, even if she knows im gay. I asked my mom why she said no her only responses were "you're 13 and you're a boy (becky's a girl)" I said "so?" and she just repeated herself. I mean that means nothing to me....thats not even a good reason. If she could give me just ONE good reason why not then i'd shut up and leave it alone. But my mom should be more threatened when i sleep at guys houses. I mean for all she knows we could be making out? Girls on the other hand are nothing more and will always be just friends to me. She knows all of this....but yet...still a "no"?!?!! IM SO F*CKING P*SSED IT'S NOT EVEN HEALTHY! The only time i recall being this mad was when they hacked my msn and outed me....but i think even that anger pales in comparison to this one. I mean why the f*ck not?!?!?! The way i see it...sure i might be missing a y cromozone but when you look at it....im gay, and the way i see it this is just two girlfriends having a slumber party...i have no sensual interest in Becky and i have NO CLUE why mom is being such a b*tch. Please if anyone can shed some light on this....do it quick...so i can pound it into her f*cking skull.
hmm... i have a similar problem... my mom STILL doesnt trust me around girls and she does know im gay. i mean come on. i think it might be that they think we might be pulling their legs about being gay or even that we might spontaneously decide that we are straight that evening and then get into god knows what... or it might even be that she the gay conversation didnt sink through... maybe i should go remind her.... ah well... all i can say is, why not talk to your mom about it? she might not give you a straight answer about it, but you might get more achieved that way... but, if she doesnt have a problem with you over at guys houses, then why not make full use of that?:icon_wink jk it suddenly occured to me, are you widely out? because if you arent, then it may be that your mom thinks it would be a bad image on the family to anyone who doesnt know your gay seeing you sleeping over at a girls house. or it might just be one of those mom things... but who knows? im not a mom and i have no plans of becoming one anytime soon... good luck with it though i
Hi Kyle, I had a huge argument with my mom on a similar note. My girlfriend from High School days came to visit in Germany so obviously she stayed at my apartment. Gay as I was (just not out), the last thing I wanted to do was sleep with her. When I went to visit my parents in town, my mom gave me an endless sermon about extramarital sex, and accused me of sleeping with my girlfriend. :tantrum: I was never so pissed at my mom in my entire life:icon_mad: . I even refused to show up for Mother’s Day, until my dad convinced me. The reason for my anger was that my mom didn’t believe or trust me when I said I didn’t sleep with my girlfriend. You mom seems to be distrusting of you in the same manner which hurts like hell and makes your blood boil. Why not ask her if it’s a matter of trust and whether she has so little confidence in her son to do the right thing. And tell her how much it hurts you to know that she has so little faith in you (in comes drama queen). If that doesn’t do the trick, ask when she thinks you’ll be old enough to be trusted. That should throw her for a loop. As far as I can tell from my experiences, moms go through a crisis phase when their sons reach dating age. Gay or not, it’s the time in your life where the real umbilical cord is finally severed. Many moms would prefer to keep their sons as kids and are not ready to allow them to become adults. They get over it sooner or later. Hopefully, it’s sooner for you. Anyway, I can sure feel your anger. My mom apologized but it put a distance between us that I was never able to overcome. Don’t let that happen to you. Parents make mistakes too. They think they’re protecting you but forget your feelings in the process. If all else fails, tell her your feelings are hurt (with a little emotion but not too much) and that you are disappointed in her. I’ll bet she relents. Hope that helps and let us know how it turns out. Lorenz (*hug*)
Parents have reasons for their actions and decisions. Respect them for it and try to talk it out with them. Maybe the reason behind it is not because of you, but your mother doesn't trust the girl? Or it's just the fact that it is against her moral values to have 13 year olds of opposite gender sleeping over each other's houses. Respect your mother's decision and don't call her a bitch. Afterall, she did give birth to you, raise you, and has accepted you for who you are. She loves you does she not?
Or. she might know a little more about being 13. Your hormones are raging every which way - you shouldn't make a final decision about your sexual orientation just yet. Your mom is probably hoping this whole teen angst about your homosexuality will blow over one of these days. You have to understand you're not the only one going through personal acceptance. Your parents will love you unconditionally whichever way you may swing but you have to give them a chance to adjust to these life altering choices you're making. A few months really isn't that long. They'll come around soon. Be patient. Things do get better.
Yeah... I'm sure that's what most parents tell their children who are expressing interest in the opposite gender: don't be so sure you're straight yet! You might be gay! Why oh why oh WHY is it that so many poeple, even gay people, treat homosexuality like it's this delicate transient prone-to-be-mistaken phase that young people go through? I sincerely doubt someone comes to a queer discussion board and posts umpteen messages about being gay just for kicks! I mean, there's telling people you're bi to appear "cool" and then there's telling your parents, your friends, and being an active participant in a gay online community. Yes, people's hormones rage when they're young. That doesn't mean they're incapable of figuring out what kind of people arouse their sexual interest.
Uhm... not that I'm completely comfortable with the extent of the original poster's anger with his mum (although I do certainly understand it), but sometimes parents' reasons for the actions and decisions are, well, stupid. Sometimes parents DON'T actually have good reasons for their reactions to their children's actions or requests or behaviour. Parents are people--just as infallible as the rest of us. And I'm sorry but if it is indeed the case that it was his mother's "moral values" that were behind her decision, well then, her values are pretty darn heterosexist. Understandable: sure. Worthy of respect and/or lauding: not so much.
Whatever you discover, I would not miss the chance to say to her, "Well then, I can go and sleep over at cute little Timmy's place, right Mum? After all, we're both boys... what could POSSIBLY happen?" :badgrin: Maybe the alternative will clarify things for her. Although it might well be "What will the neighbours think?" which sucks but is somewhat more defensible than "But she's a GIRL!"
About the "neighbors and what people will think"- it really can become a big deal. I (a girl) lived with a gay guy (not totally uncloseted) for 6 months once in the same town I grew up in, and the fallout was HUGE. Everyone thought that it was a horrible thing even though nothing at all happened. I think that that stigma is still there from long ago when these things didn't happen, and homosexuality wasn't ever talked about or accepted. That being said, no one really close to me said that it was a bad thing and they stuck by through all of the bad comments. I think that it is important for you to talk to you mom and explain that one night camping as 13 yrs. old is not the end of the world. Maybe even suggest that the girl comes to stay at your house instead? that might allay your some of your mom's fears and it would allow her to see how you treat her as just a friend. If people did happen to "talk" about it afterwards, maybe then you guys could decide that sleepovers aren't a good idea now, but your mom really shouldn't object to this, at least once as a trial.
Woah....its been a while since i was here...seems that things really started some convos. Well thnx for all the input...some of it i might not agree with but i thank you none the less. And joeyconnick....you rock...thats exactly what i said to her...cept i changed the name to someone she knew. That kinda made her think. So as of now im not allowed sleeping at ANYONE'S house. Male or Female. How unfair is that?!?!? Anyway, the gods have a purpose for my parents stubborness...there's a lesson to learn, no matter how frustrating. And i hate calling out people on their mistakes but i have to mention McGill's post. Im sorry and i hate to do it but im doing it in the defense of all of us. Joey has mentioned and i 100% agree with him, you sound like my dad. "Dont decide just yet son" it sounds like a very anti-gay comment. Maybe not intentional, but it did. Who are you to say what stage anyone else is at? Im not angry, but frustrated and confused by the comment. You could be 8, 14, 32 or 65 (random numbers) before you have decided what exactly is your sexuality. I may be a bit "early" by some people's standards to have made a concreate decision, but i dont care. Ive just gone through those stages a little bit quicker than others. I understand you probably ment i may be bi or i could be straight....that this may be a stage....and for some it is. But for me, i know already what i am...and im positive that its not changing...again, sorry for calling you out but your not the first or even the only one on this board to make such a comment and i posted for their eyes as well.
