hi guys um i met my BF on another site back in june we got together june 11 and we really love eachother. but im extremely terrified of telling my parents about him even though i desperatly want to. i live in california and he's in texas so its kind of hard not being with him. i thought about telling my therapist about him and having her help me tell them. i am out sort of they know but they don't seem to accept it i don't know. because they make comments to me about girls and stuff. im sorry if this doesnt make sense. im just very anxious about telling them. i want them to know but im afraid they might react badly. any advice would be greatly appreciated. :help:
If you already have a therapist I would strongly recommend talking to them about telling your parents.
Yes, you don't have to have the therapist actually help you tell them, necessarily, but she can definitely help you figure out how to do it. You having a boyfriend is likely to make it "real" to them a lot faster. Which is probably exactly what you are worried about. Have you taken them to PFLAG yet?
My only concern, and please don't take this as discouragement, is that while I think you should definitely tell them, i think having a bf whom you've never met (unless you have) is not going to make it real for them, frankly they'll probably try and keep you from talking to him. yOu guys have only been together five months, and online dating is extremely dangerous because unless you guys have like Skyped or whatever, how do you know he's definitely him? (Unless you're on fb together too). But none the less, I still think using him as your gateway is not going to help. You need to come out for you. That's my two cents, again please don't take it as discouragement, it's just me trying to bring the reality aspect forward.
i understand what you mean. i skype with him quite often so im pretty sure he's for real haha. but im being careful. he told me he has told his parents about me. i just really want to be out to my family and i think being with him is going to help me with that quite a bit.
Hope you'll get to meet him soon in real life. Have you guys thought about perhaps attending the same college together, or him moving to Cali, or you to Texas?
coming out for you - and not for someone else - is definitely good advice. I more or less came out for someone else, and while it didn't reveal anything erroneous about me, it led to a lot of complications further on down the line. However, as far as an internet bf not making it "real" to someone, I have to say that telling your family you're gay is pretty real, no matter the context. Even if he was right there holding your hand they could still claim it was a "phase" (I don't know them at all, I'm just going with the stereotypical replies). Out of curiosity, what do you think their response will be? You mention them "sort of" knowing - but still making comments about girls. Is this because they're unclear, or they aren't taking what they know seriously? Good luck though! As a side note, I hope things work out that you two eventually get to be in the same place. Are you thinking about meeting at all before college (cause, just a thought, that might be nice to do before you commit to a college halfway across the country).
when i said they sort of know. i meant that they are kind of in denial about it. I am hoping to meet him before college one of my friends said it would be a good thing to do.
