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Too horny..

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Koll, Nov 7, 2011.

  1. Koll

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    Well alright; Heres my problem.

    My boyfriend and I love to snuggle. a LOT. He has a few extra pounds, so he's pretty much a bear and just.. really cozy.

    Anyhow.. Naps and stuff. Sometimes during his break he'll stop by and we'll just snuggle together in a bed and nap for a good 2 hours. This is awesome.. but one problem.

    It arouses me too much. I get horny, and touchy and it just ruins the entire snuggle automosphere into a more sexual one.

    And its lame. And even if I get through these wonderful naps, We both wake up hard..

    Now, he's older; He's perfected the art of just.. compressing it and ignoring it.
    I can't.


    How can I avoid getting too aroused during what isn't really a sexual thing? I hate how it turns into that 90% of the time.. and its usually solely my doing.. but in that mind state I cant control it..
     
  2. J Snow

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    Well is the problem simply the erection or your behavior. I don't see how getting hard while cuddling is necessarily a bad thing unless you are more talking about being able to control things from escalating into a sexual situation. As for me I think it'd be nice to feel that while cuddling if I was your partner >.< So I don't think that on its own is a problem.

    If you are more talking about ignoring it and controlling your desire to get more sexual, well I think that's something that is likely something that will come with time both with age and becoming more accustomed to interactions like that with him.
     
  3. Gravity

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    Well, two things:

    1) I would suggest that you and your bf talk together about how to approach it - ways for you to tone it down occasionally, as well as ways for him to meet you in the middle and, as it were, tone it up. No matter what differences come with a relationship, it should be about the two of you working on things together, not just one of you changing to suit the other's needs.

    2) As for your end of the deal, there are a lot of things you might try. You could try to focus your thoughts on something different while you're snuggling. You could try masturbating beforehand until you're raw (hey, sorry, but it works). You could try approaching it as something cute (if you're a "cute" person) rather than something sexy - maybe get a teddy bear to snuggle with the two of you or something.

    Make sure the teddy bear abandons ship, though, if things get kinky anyway. :lol:
     
  4. Mad Man L

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    If all else fails (and I speak from experience with other stuff), masturbate beforehand. It works. Although I would try and just avoid thinking about it sexually at all. That being said, is it really a huge issue? Just accept it, you do love each other after all...
     
  5. Lexington

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    I'll third the vote. Masturbate beforehand. Or let him know - maybe he'll consent to getting you off before you start the snugglefest. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  6. Koll

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    Well thats the thing. I rub myself about 3 times a day even without him.

    It doesn't really do anything for me.. I guess its just moreso of methods of prevention from my mind going there; He doesn't mind it turns into a bit of mutal masturbation but I do when I'm snuggling with my cuddle buddy :3
     
  7. ArcaneVerse

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    Could you not settle for a happy medium? fool around then snuggle?
     
  8. Lexington

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    Exactly. As long as he realizes how horny you get, why not start out by having him just hold you while you get yourself off? Then you can clean up a bit and resume with the snuggling.

    Lex
     
  9. Koll

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    Because its a nuisance. :icon_sad:
     
  10. Lexington

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    I'd file this nuisance next to "my wallet is so fat that it's uncomfortable to sit down". :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  11. ArcaneVerse

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    ^ XD this.

    Also how long have you been together? because if its a recent thing this snuggling then its possible that with some time and repetition your problem may go away on its own.
     
  12. Koll

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    Known him for a year and a half.

    Actually we've been together for a full year come.. eh.. sometime around Nov 15th..
    neither of us know the date except it was a few days after his birthdate.. lmao.
     
  13. ArcaneVerse

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    Ah i see, well if your boyfriend doesnt mind getting all sexual and im sure your enjoying it, maybe there isnt really a problem here? you still get to snuggle right, so your still getting the cute romantic time with your boyfriend just with some fooling around thrown in there somewhere.

    The only other thing i could suggest, but i doubt it would work completely, is to condition yourself to not get aroused while cuddled up. Which would involve you separating yourself from your boyfriend when things started to heat up, then after you have cooled down you move back into position and then rinse and repeat, then hopefully after some time your body gets used to not getting sexual when your all cuddled up. but yeah im not too sure it would work XD and it also ruins the fun of "snuggle time" without the extra fun of fooling around.