I hate that I'm never in control of my emotions. I know it comes with having bpd.. but sometimes I wonder if I'm also more emotional than other guys cuz I'm gay? I had to switch schools 4 times in the last 3 years.. the last switch was cuz of health problems and also bullying... n today I'm in math class n the teacher is just really having a go at me in front of the whole class n I could feel how I was about to start crying.. so I just ran out... n of course I can hear the talk around school later.. bout how the fairie boy cried in class.. n I'm just so sick of it... why does it have to be this hard.. I really don't wanna go back tomorrow
I don't know much about the british education system, but in most parts of the US, it would be really inappropriate for a teacher to rip on a student in front of other students. Is this the norm there? If not, would you be able to talk to a guidance counselor or the principal or someone? No one, particularly someone who is struggling with emotional or psychological issues, should be subjected to inappropriate behavior by a teacher. Additionally, here in the US, the school system is obligated to provide appropriate education for people with challenging problems, and BPD should certainly qualify. So perhaps you could get individual tutoring or other special assistance so that you can learn in an environment that doesn't detract from your ability to focus and receive a quality education. To answer your question... it's unlikely you're more emotional specifically because you're gay, but different people have differing levels of openness to their emotions, and gay men are often a bit more in touch than straight men. Additionally, the experiences we have growing up can impact how we handle emotions; it has to do with bonding with parents, the level of support we perceive from family members, and other factors, as well as any negative or traumatic events we have experienced. Finally, while BPD can be difficult to treat in adults, when it is identified and treated earlier in life, my understanding is that it is often possible to almost fully eliminate the symptoms at least in some people. So emotional stability is quite possible over time, it will just take some patience and work with a talented therapist.
I am a BPD gay and no it's not because you are gay. The scariest thing that happened to me this year was when I met gay people like me in person and realizing that I was completely different from them -- what made me feel different wasn't the fact that I was gay. It's really easy for LGBTQ people to blame their differences on their sexuality but it really plays a small role. I have had some extreme bullying from students here and I think it's terrible that you have to go through this alone. Here are some of my tips for BPD and dealing with this crap: Eat your meals as the same time every day. Eating at the same time can help you regulate the fluids in your head for people with BPD. The same thing with sleeping helps too. Regular eating and sleeping patterns affect us more severely than regular people. Just because you don't feel hungry or sleepy doesn't mean you shouldn't eat or sleep. A few months back I was 50 pounds under weight, and I had to work it up. If a teacher is saying offensive comments I would report it. Yes, it's not fun bringing other people into it but that is way out of hand. I usually surround myself with people I know who will step out and call someone out on their language. I know that may not be the case here but see if you can find someone in your class. He/she may not stand up in front of the whole class but it helps afterwards. I hope things get better for you over there!
thanks.. I didn't go to school today and they called my mum.. I'm trying to convince her I'm sick but I don't think she's believing me
I gather that your mum doesn't know that you're gay? She must know about the bpd though, right? Perhaps you could tell her enough without coming out to her if you aren't ready for that. My son suffers from depression and anxiety and even though I know he's gay, he has had occasions to 'take a mental health day' from school. While this isn't something I encourage, I understand the need for it occasionaly. I believe that education is extremely important but even more important is your safety and mental health. The suggestions that the others have made were very good ones so I won't ramble on repeating what they said. I would just like to encourage you to find someone to talk to (a professional) and someone you can lean on (friend, relative, etc). You don't have to go through this alone.
