okay so about a month and a half ago i told my mom is was gay. witch went very well and she supports me witch is awsome but i am ready to tell more of the familly is it okay to get her to tell them at first and then i can talk to them about it after they have been told by my mom? or is this the wrong way to go about this? any other suggestions? thanks so much
I used to wonder the same thing. If it helps, what happened in my case is that I asked my parents to talk to our extended family - my thought was that it would involve them in the coming out process and help show them what it was like for me. What ended up happening, though, was that they just never talked to anybody. Eventually I got tired of it, and fed up with the stress of being in the closet, so I came out to people myself. It also left me feeling a little upset that my parents were so reluctant to talk to people about me. Ultimately, I think it's better to come out to people yourself. Your parents may not completely understand why this is so important, and it may just delay the process. Plus it will never be as personal for them as it will be for you, so really there's nothing to gain from having them do it...except you not having to do it, which is just another way of hiding it. If you want, you can tell your parents ahead of time that you're coming out to so-and-so (as opposed to asking if it's okay - don't do that, unless you expect a really hostile result from the person you plan to come out to). But, again, I would do the actual coming out yourself.
I consider "coming out" as something to just get to the other side of. It doesn't really matter if you do it dramatically or quietly, or if you enlist the aid of others or not. If your mother doesn't have any trouble telling people, then sure - feel free to tell her it's OK to tell others. But if she does, I'd say you're better off doing it yourself. Lex
I say as long as she is willing to help then its a great idea, I think if people see she is supportive they are more likely to be supportive too.
I let my dad tell his brothers, who presumably told their wives and kids (my cousins). But I wanted to tell my grandmother myself. It all depends on how you feel and how close a relationship you have with your relatives. Once the family knew, I just started to show up at events with my boyfriend, and nobody blinked. He was just as welcome as if I'd shown up with a new girlfriend. So that worked for me.
