Today I'm crushed. I've posted like 20 posts about my friend Matt, so let's not run overboard. Anyway, I saw him today. I told him I'm bi but I didn't tell him I have a crush on him. I asked him "Are you ready to date [again]?" but he said "I'm pretty straight." Those 3 words out his mouth crushed me. He's single too.. but I guess I'll just have to suck it up and go back to liking Andrew. So the thing I said when I came out to him was: "I'm... bi--bisexual" and he shook his head ok; so I went on talking. I told him things like "My love life is pretty fucked up." (That was the last thing I said to him before I had to catch my bus) Before that I told him, "When I first came here [to the town I live at now], in my drama class..." and got myself confused with what I was trying to say; I was trying to tell him that I had a habit of being obsessed with people freshman year. So we also talked about hanging out once this week or next week. I asked him--since I asked him previously, "Wanna hang out?" and he said "[Today] I'm going to the gym... that's right we have a 4 day weekend..." [We're off for 4 days because the NJEA has this huge statewide 2 day meeting and every school in my state New Jersey gets off for 2 days; a Thursday and Friday in the 2nd week of November every year because of the convention.] and then he said his plans. "On Friday I have to help out my aunt with some yardwork. [Awwww how sweet...] Saturday's the football game, and Sunday I just chill at home and watch football, so I'm free." So I told him "Wanna hang out on Sunday?" and he said "Yeah, we can do something." So I said, "Wanna see a movie?... go to the mall?" and he said sure, and asked where I live and I told him. Now it's just a matter of him picking me up, and us setting a time for the movie we wanna see.... I didn't even ask him what movie we want to watch at our theater; I didn't ask him about any money issues, in case we didn't have money. But I've been stood up by people before when they wanna hang out with me. So I wanna make sure that Matt genuinely wants to see a movie next Sunday. I was already crushed by him saying he's, according to him, "Pretty straight", so I don't wanna get stood up either. What should I do about all this?
I'm sure when he said he's pretty straight he's not saying he's pretty and straight. Let me give you some advice based on an experience here. When I was at another forum, there was a Gay guy who was crushing hugely on a Straight guy. Gay came out to Straight guy but Straight was 'pretty straight'. Straight accepted being friends, but Gay started obsessing about every little thing Straight did. He kept trying to read between the lines of affections like touching the nose or patting his head and it drove him crazy. Gay started to get depress when Straight wouldn't go beyond friendship affections. I think he wanted more out of that friendship which started to creeped Straight out. The friendship went downhill from there. Bottom line is: Stop Over-Analysing stuff! He pretty much said he's straight so if you do want the friendship, you'll have to accept the possibility that nothing much more may come out of that friendship.
Well if he says he is straight, then he is straight. If there is a small chance that he may be questioning himself, I would not try to force it out of him. He is most likely thinking you want to hangout with him as friends. Do not think this is a date. It should be established beforehand if it is a date. I would wait for his response. If he replies with ya ill hang out, then go and hangout. If he replies with a, i'm gonna be busy, then give him space and let him come back to you. Don't come off as a stalker, because that would have a negative influence on everything.
1) I'm BI. 2) I wasn't obsessed and over analyzing. We've been friends for one year now... so it's not like we're strangers who barely know each other. Unknown I never asked him what his orientation was. I only asked him if he was ready to date anyone again. And next Sunday he said he's free to do anything, so I suggested that we go to a movie together and he said yeah. Also, I'd like your opinion on this: should one of my friends come along with the two of us? So he doesn't think I'm an obsessed stalker who loves him? I told my mom about my friend wanting to come along and she said I shouldn't bring her [my friend] along on the very first time. Thoughts?
Take your friend along man. He thinks you two are going to hangout. If you give him the vibe that it's more than that, then you might loose a friend. Trust me man, most of my friends are straight guys. If a gay guy came on to them, they would run away. As Yuya said, you have to face reality and come to the conclusion, that you all may never be more than friends.
As you BOTH have said of course I know we'll never be anything more. Hell I think I'll be alone for the rest of my life, the way this infatuation's going. I hate it, yet I have it like others have infections, except this "infection" (infatuation) inside me is in my brain and it's killing my brain. Anyway, I'm gonna ask him if we can pick her up. I haven't seen her--her name's Olivia, a name I think is pretty awesome for a girl--since I moved to where I am now. We went to middle school together, and I never really went over her house except on rare occurrences. I regret that now because I was very antisocial and now I have a new fear of being alone for a long time, it stemmed from my mom's ex bf's abuse to me. So back to her. She just asked my cousin Tory (who's in many MANY of my posts) if I'm related to him. I forget his answer but he probably said yeah, not knowing me and Olivia used to be like Lucy and Ethel, best friends when we were younger. I hate that I moved from my friends, to here, because ALL it has brought me is terrible teachers, very few close friends, no LGBT friends I can open up to and befriend and tell my LGBT issues to, and many rejections.
well idk what else to tell you. If it's consuming ur life this much, then I would seek professional one on one help. I do wish you the best though and hope you sort everything out.
I'm sort of better now. I'm not as depressed as I was yesterday when I said all the stuff above. I was just feeling down. It happens to me a lot. So much has happened in my life that weighs me down, even for my age (15) that I think sometimes when I communicate with the one person who might really be for me, they might roll their eyes at me and think I'm ranting about useless stuff. Truth is, it's my life she or he is rolling their eyes at. And if they can't help but to hear the stories of my youth, then so be it, even if they are the girl or guy of my dreams.
