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Depressed.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by don29002, Nov 9, 2011.

  1. don29002

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    Got rejected today by a friend of mine. But him and me will just have to stay friends and I can't force him to like me, and I know that no bi/gay guy is going to magically fall out the other end of the Earth--like from London to New York [where I live]--and befriend me and fall in love with me.
    So I guess I should learn to live by myself for the rest of my life....

    Anyway I've tried to cheer myself up by eating. I eat a lot of junk food, like pretzels and chips. (I don't eat ice cream--I'e had sensitive teeth all my life) I've tried writing a song but I didn't feel like it.
    I've been listening to my music on my iTunes playlist. I have literally about 800 songs, and I listen to maybe 30 a day.
    Still didn't work.
    I'm a reader also but I'd love to buy a book about obsession and LGBT infatuation, like a situation I'm in. A bi guy thinks his str8 close guy friend is the one for him and tries not to appear stalkerish, so he tells his friends he likes the guy.
    So the day comes where the guy comes out to his friend he likes and asks his single friend if he's ready to date again, and the friend says "I'm pretty str8."

    So yeah...
    Anyone got ideas to cheer me up? I've looked online for some LGBT teen dating sites but I always was directed to adult dating sites where they'd tell me to say I'm 18.
    But I'm 15.
     
  2. Jim1454

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    It seems to me that I've said this before. At 15 you don't need to be dating. You need to stop assuming that at 15 you're supposed to have a boyfriend. You're not. You're supposed to be concentrating on school and hanging out with friends and NOT concerned with having a boyfriend.

    And don't read sappy books about gays and bis falling in love and crap. Pick up a decent spy novel and read that instead.
     
  3. seeksanctuary

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    Heh... Jim has the right idea.

    I understand how it is, though, to want and seek out love at your age. I sympathize. But the love you're seeking will take years to find, and really, I think what people your age really want is acceptance. I won't try and tell you that's what you want, but I suspect that's the case. Either way, right now you need to focus on self-love... learning to trust, love and care for yourself. You're at an age where it's critical to learn how to be alone, and what you need to be healthy and happy. Being in a relationship clouds that process. I'm 23 and I'm still figuring it out!

    You will find love, but trust me, it's better for you right now to take it slow and worry about yourself. Focus on school, focus on becoming a stronger person, and pretty much everything else Jim already said.

    If you want a book about GLBT romance, though, Rainbow Boys is okay. But be careful; romance books of ALL types really aren't that good for people! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  4. Doctor Faustus

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    What Jim said. Hey, I'm 19 and still single!

    Go and enjoy yourself and make the most of your teenage years. When you get to college, you leave home and you have to fend for yourself for the first time, you'll wish you could have them back.

    If you want to read an LGBT romance novel, choose something literary, not slushy crap. Something that'll enrich you culturally. I'd happily recommend "At Swim, Two Boys" by Jamie O'Neill, or even "Brokeback Mountain", Annie Proulx's short story on which the film was based (it can be found in her collection "Close Range"). But whatever you do, don't get too depressed: your time will come, and hopefully you'll be maturer and readier to deal with the ups and downs of having a relationship.
     
    #4 Doctor Faustus, Nov 10, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2011
  5. don29002

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    Thanks for the great advice about doing me and staying strong. But I have a loner type personality and everyone I know--for almost my entire life--have always yelled at me and criticized me for being too sheltered; however, I do things most teens don't.
    I LOVE reading Simone de Beauvoir novels (She Came to Stay and The Mandarins are her 2 most famous books) since Simone was a French existentialist, philosopher, and one of France's greatest 20th century authors.
    I love watching old movies (Some of my favorites are Casablanca and Gone With the Wind and also Stage Door with the late great Katharine Hepburn), reading philosophy books, talking to my friends from school online (remember I'm kind of a homebody), etc.

    And I'm also a songwriter. I've posted my songs here on EC and on Yahoo Answers. When something serious happens in my life--abusive relationships, stress, hardship, deaths in my family--I write songs about it.
    My mom broke up with her ex when she had had enough of him. He choked me twice, threatened to kill me, and even took me to a junkyard to recycle scrap metal even though I'd had an 102 degree FEVER. And yet he had threatened to kill me.
    At that time I was more depressed than I'd ever been in my life. My dad had just died that October, 2 months before my moms ex threatened me. This was December when he threatened me.
    I was also obsessed and infatuated with people, and still am, but not as severely as I was last year. I look back on freshman year and wonder who I was; I was certainly not the Donald who writes music to heal himself, reads to gain knowledge, listens to great iTunes music to remember the times when music meant something in the world.
    I was an emotional wreck, and suicidal, but I'm fine now. When my moms ex threatened to kill me, I remember my suicidal thoughts had just started, so I was VERY depressed and quiet.

    And I can NOT believe it's been 8 months since my mom and her ex broke up with each other. Also I can't believe I got through it with the help of JUST my school guidance counselor, my songwriting, iTunes, my friends at school, and myself.
    I'm even writing a full book about my life now; people need to know that abuse doesn't just happen to adult women: it happens to minors my age and of ANY gender and orientation.
     
  6. Doctor Faustus

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    No worries!

    Shit happens to all of us (yes! even me! trust me, I have a lot of baggage), but I think it's fair to say you've had quite a bit more than the average person. Calling someone overly sheltered can seem like strong criticism. Only you know yourself well enough to believe whether or not your critics have a point. If you agree with them, make the changes you need. If you don't, well then frankly if they can't accept you for who you are, they don't deserve your time, love or money. It's important to find others who recognise and celebrate your individuality.

    Anyhow, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

    I write poems from time to time. Recently, I've been exploring more LGBT-related subject matter, and now I've decided all my "gay" (for want of a better word) literary output will go onto my EC blog. Feel free to check it out.

    Hope this has helped. If you need to contact me, you can always drop me a line.

    Oh! One last thing. If you're ever feeling miserable, watch this: Mr Happy - YouTube
     
  7. don29002

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    Thanks Faustus. You're so right about the quote, I say it a lot too. And I've been writing LGBT songs myself; for every guy I have a crush on there's a song about him. I've written 2 songs about my friend Matt; I think he might be the one for me. Then there's my friend Andrew. He's listened to me rant about hardships in my life about being LGBT and he understands that side of me. But I don't know who to choose...
     
  8. malachite

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    a friend once told me, "A broken heart is like a broken arm, you can't force it heal any faster then it's going to. All you can do is set the bone and let things run their course."
     
  9. don29002

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    That's a nice quote too.
    I always say "When one heart is broken another heart feels the person's pain."