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Concerned

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by EM68, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. EM68

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    Last weekend I saw my brother and sister in law. We had a great time. We talked about my nephews and niece. My brother remarried and my ex sister in law started to date a woman. She never officially came out she just told my brother and my parents that she was seeing a woman. She hasn't even talked to me. In all fairness I never came out to her.

    She has been seeing this woman for less than 6 months and I found out that her gf has moved in with her and my nephew and niece. My brother has talked to the kids about it and my niece is fine with it. But my nephew said abruptly that he is fine and basically shut my brother down, which is not like him. He can be pretty talkative. I told my brother that I could talk to him if he wanted to and my brother said he would tell him. Even with this it has been eating me all week. I'm concerned because he is a happy go lucky kid. He seems that throughout my brother's divorce he was fine. My concern is that now with my ex sister in law's gf moving in I'm afraid that this may be too much for him. He is a senior in college, applying to colleges and I don't want him to be derailed.
     
  2. Jim1454

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    Hi Ed. (It's kinda cool that your ex sister in law turned out to be gay too.)

    But to your concern - I'm not sure you need to be too worried. I'm not sure why he would come across as moody or disturbed. How was the divorce? Difficult? Recent?

    Having someone else move into the house can definitely throw off the whole equilibrium. If it's just been him, his sister and his mom for a long time, he's perhaps put off by the new girlfriend moving in. They were already effective as a 'team' and now there's a new player on the court, and everyone needs to learn a new position - so to speak. (It's very odd for me to use a sports analogy.)

    The older kids are, the more set they are in their beliefs. Maybe he isn't entirely comfortable with his mom being a lesbian. Is he cool with his uncle being gay? Does his mom think there's a problem too? Or is this just your brother seeing a change in behaviour?
     
  3. EM68

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    Their divorce was about 3 years ago and it was a bit messy. Jim I can see what you are saying about the team analogy. My nephew seems fine with me being gay. He told my brother so. He came to my wedding and have been around me and my husband at my parent's house. I am not too sure if his mom is concerned I could tell my brother was a little troubled by his answer. I have not seen any change in his behavior. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun.