Hi ppl, I was outted in school at 15 as being bi (a natural transition) and by the time I was 18, all my family knew and everything was cool. I practically lived on the gay scene for 4 years enjoying a few flings along the way. I have always been very proud of my sexuality......until, I met my current girlfriend who I have been with for 2 years. she is out to a select few of her friends and to the rest of the world, I don't exsist. I didn't really realise what an affect this was having until I started a new job a few months back. I have become really withdrawn and avoid making friends for fear anyone will find out that I am gay. I am very annoyed with myself and want to run away from it all. I am very depressed about the situation and cannot confide in my girlfriend because I was always the one encouraging her to come out. I don't know where to turn..... Anyone been through anything similar...i would love some advice! thanks, Greeny.
Hey and welcome I am a little confused about your post...so let's get some things straight first. 1. Are you gay or bi? I get the feeling that you were outted as being bi, but are really gay. 2. When you say your girlfried is out, does that mean she is bi as well? 3. What do you mean when you say "to the rest of the world, I don't exsist."? I think if we sort out these questions, it will be easier for us to all help you.
Hey there, So you think your girlfriend's closetedness is rubbing off on you? That sounds like it would suck. Why are you worried about the people at work finding out you're gay? Is it a particularly homo-unfriendly workplace?
Hi, greeny. I feel like if there's anyone you could confide in, it WOULD be your girlfriend. Yeah, so you've been encouraging her to come out.; that doesn't mean you're this shining, perfect example of an out person. You're allowed to struggle w/ it too. And I obviously don't know your girlfriend, but I think it's quite possible that rather than being all "You hypocrite! You said it was easy to come out, and you can't even do it!" her response might be more like "I'm glad you know what it feels like for me a little bit now. Let's help e/o do this." I haven't been through anything that's similar to your situation in any obvious way, but I'm definitely familiar w/ feeling like I have been shoved back in the closet (by someone else or by myself) at various times. It's a sucky feeling, isn't it? We just have to remember that coming out is not a one-time thing, and that some experiences will be easier than others. That's what I try to tell myself, anyway.
Hi grenny' I totally understand what you are go n through. I had to start work and was afraid people would look at me different if they found out i was gay. But i came up with a plane that works for me and might work for you. I go out and conversate with people on the regular. We would probley talk and go out to eat a cupple of times as friends. But when time passes eventually the conversation about a loved one is going to come out. So for example this boy asked me if i was dating i said that i'm in a relationship . Then he asked me wats his name. I politelly told him that "HER name is Raven". His jaw drop and he was stunned . yes i was afraid but i was confident. So as time pass we are still friends he never told any one . So what i'm trying to say is let it come out when it's the right time. Get a chance to be friend them and you will find the right time to tell them. I hope this helps!!
