So, there is this guy that I used to consider a friend. If I was interested in a relationship with a male, I would totally be into him. Even tho I'm a Kinsey 5, not a 6, I don't want to date a guy ever again, ever, due to my past, but I do enjoy a nice looking set of abs every now and then, and that's the extent of my attraction to men at this point. So, anyway, recently he has been bugging the hell out of me to go see him, go hang out, go to dinner and a movie. I keep telling him I can't, that with my daughter and school I just can't go do things with him especially since he lives an hour away. He was on my facebook page, which I use a gay pride picture, and have openly said things like "I'm saving my heart for the perfect woman" and things of that nature. Basically, its pretty obvious I like the ladies... When he asked me to date him, I flat out said no. He keeps asking me to go do things, so I finally blocked him on facebook, steam, and other like things... but he keeps calling ((i dont answer)) and texting me.... How do I get my point across without being a bitch? At this point, I just want him to leave me alone...
You stop hinting. You start telling. "I'm gay. I'm not interested in you. I've blocked you on Facebook because you won't leave me alone, and if you continue calling and texting, I'll block you that way, as well." Lex
Am I just weak for not wanting to be mean? His last gf left him because she realized she was a transgender gay man and wasn't comfortable with her body.... I think I'm just too kind hearted
Being honest isn't being mean and if you want to keep the possibility for the two of you to be friends, I doubt you have any other option.
I think it's appropriate for you to tell him that he's overstepping his bounds when he obviously hasn't been taking the hint from your other actions. You don't have to say it in a mean way, just be polite but firm. He sounds a bit creepy to me, to be honest - who continues to call someone after they've blocked you on Facebook? - so I'd say it's important to be clear with him or he'll just keep bothering you. Is he maybe one of these guys who thinks he can "turn" gay girls straight?
>>>Am I just weak for not wanting to be mean? Nothing in my quote is mean. I didn't call the guy names, or say he was stalking, or anything like that. It's completely factual. Use it. Lex
Judging from how he has not backed down even after all that you have done to keep him from contacting you, this harassment is not going to stop if you continue to avoid trying to hurt his feelings. It's about your safety and privacy, and you have the right to be mean if you feel he's being too intrusive. Like everyone's said, you have to tell him the truth in a kind but firm manner. If that doesn't work and he keeps calling or texting you, block his number on your cell/landline or call the authorities if you feel threatened (hopefully, you won't have to do this).
him (text): hey, can we hang out this weekend. you (text): no we cant MF. stop texting me. lol sorry just kidding about the above text exchange. basically when someone keeps calling you or texting you, you can do two things: 1. ignore 2. confront. if you ignore, somteimes they will get the hint and stop. however usually they resurface a month or so later and will start up again. you can ignore and they will go away. some will go away immediately after a few ignores. if someone is very determined or mentally warped, #1 won't work for them. then you have to confront. if you confront. keep it short, keep it sweet, and direct. "i'm not interested in hanging out. i'm in a relationship OR i'm not interested in you like that and out of respect do not want to lead you on (pick one to say). no more additional calls/texts please. wish u the best. take care. this will work for most. most sane people do not want to look like they're a pest. for the emotionally twisted, this will not work and they will still call you. then that's when you block their a** by any means necessary. (there are apps for this). if this doesnt work, report them.
Some people are just not aware enough of others feelings and the same could be happening with this guy! Just tell him something like : you're nice Hutu m just nit interested as I'm gay. Well he s suppose to get that. Gd luck
i think if yoiu want to tell him you're gay and not interested that's fine. but i feel like you should only tell this information to him if you feel comfortable with him and feel comfortable with him knowing that about you. my personal belief is that you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you do not want to continue to hear from them. you are not responding to him and you have declined hanging out, so he should get the message. however my only thing is that when you are too nice to people they take that as "ohhh maybe i still have a chance or maybe she is just busy but next time she will hang with me..."
Well, I think he finally got the hint. He sent me a nasty e-mail calling me every derogatory female name under the sun + some. **shrugs** O well, at least he's leaving me alone
Honestly, it sounds like he's starting to cross the line between not taking the hint & harrassing/stalking you. Some guys see or hear a woman say they're gay & something in their brain just tells then full steam ahead or 'I can change that', so be careful & if it gets really out of hand, you might consider getting a TRO or just getting the authorities involved. I know that sounds harsh & extreme, but sometimes better safe than sorry, especially since you also have someone to care for yourself...
Well, he dosn't know where I live, and he lives an hour away ((next town over)) so I think its just "You ignored me, I'll cuss you out then im done"
Mhm this guy really does sound a bit dangerous/unhinged. Any resonable person might be disappointed / crushed, but if he really ever had any feelings for you, you'd be the last person he'd take his frustration out on. I think you'd better simply try to ignore him from here on. Make sure you havn't let slip any personal information that might otherwise lead him to you, cut your losses, and get on with your life. It sounds like your already well along that path. So keep your level-head firmly in place. You seem to have dealt with this situation well - so I have no trouble in believing things will resolve nicely, or at least in a way that allows you to get on with the rest of your life.
That guy sounds like trouble with a capital T. Judging from the misogynistic rant in that email message, he seems like a coward who can't accept that a woman doesn't like him. I hope that that's all he is, and not a guy who takes rejection so poorly that he does something extreme.
Yuck. I'm sorry you had to put up with such unpleasantness. The guy obviously has issues. As others have said, just be cautious.
Sorry to hear about that nasty message. No matter how enraging it gets, just ignore him. If it turns into serious harassment, I'd consider notifying the police (or welfare officers if you're on a university campus). At any rate, tell someone you trust.
do not respond to his message. he is a whack-job. ignore and save emails/messages. block him. if he still manages to get through and continues to harass, let the authorities know. this is why dating annoys me.
