My plan

Go for it and dont let ur worries get you down

 

Go for it! I wish you the best of luck possible! (*hug*) You're so brave, I don't think I could do that!

 

Hey (*hug*) coming out is tough especially when you have to tell a partner or husband/wife. It will be ok though and I think the plan you have made is a good idea. Dont fret if you dont stick exactly to your plan sometimes these things happen, in the long run everyone will feel better.

 

I dont think that a letter is a bad choice, I think letters are an awesome way because you can make sure you include everything you want to and ensure that you put it across in the way you want. Good luck.

 

I think your plan is awesome. Especially putting your thoughts in writing: I often find I can express myself better on paper than otherwise.

Good luck! I hope it works out for you. Whatever happens, EC is here. (*hug*)

 

well if you are going to break up with him, wouldn't it be a good idea to cancel the trip too? if you are already locked into the trip adn you can't get out (already paid for tickets or fare, etc.) then it sounds like you have to stick with him until after the trip is over. i dont think you can break up with him now and then still go on the trip with his family. that woudl be awkward. personally i would say get out of the trip and break up with him now. no need in prolounging his or your pain.

 

Cant say im an expert but you can PM it to me if you like. Otherwise Eleanor Rigby or any of the other moderators would look at it for you im sure.

 

In the end, I think you, your mother, your boyfriend, and your friends will be glad that you told them the truth. If you put off doing it, or tell half-truths/lies, it will hurt your boyfriend more than if you just tell him the truth. I'm glad to hear that you decided to take the letter route, since it gives you time to really say everything you want to say. Best of luck.

 

You're not a terrible person, and no one should think that. You're very selfless for thinking of what his family and yours will think, but for you to be happy, and not keeping the secret, you need to think of you, and if breaking up with him is going to hurt less in the long run, it'll be better for everyone than you not telling him and being unhappy. There's no reason for him to be angry, you're just figuring out who you are, that's part of life good luck, you're incredibly brave.

 

Daisy, so sorry to hear about your difficult spot. I believe you gave me advice with my similar situation a few months ago. If I can be of any help, please let me know.

I still have not told my girlfriend. We took a break a few months back - and I used vague reasons like the ones you described - not feeling happy, not her it's me, scared of commitment.

Two things to keep in mind about my approach: 1. eventually, I'll still need to tell her. This is one hurdle I will need to get over before I live a genuine authentic life. I am still preoccupied about the pain I've caused/am causing her, and in some ways, I think it is halting my progress. 2. You seem like a great person, and he is not going to let you go so easily. My girlfriend believes we have something that can be fought for and is worth fighting for. While she is starting to give up on me, its been an agonizing period of uncertainty, ambiguity and pain.

Thinking about these points, I wonder: is this any better than telling her the truth? Sure, there would be some acute pain. You're WHAT! How did you not tell me? How could I not know? The initial shock would wear off, and we would both move on with our lives - either as close friends or with certainty that the relationship, for reasons we could not control, could not continue.

Please take my advice with a grain of salt, however, as I still haven't gotten the courage to be honest. I've told myself that I am committed to telling her the real truth in the near future - once I've told it to myself. As sad as it may sound, I am still struggling very hard to accept myself and understand my sexuality. My years of denial and confusion really have my head all f-ed up. My compass is pointing in all different directions, making taking a bold step forward very difficult.

In any event, like you, I have decided to write a letter. Even if I do not get the courage to give it to her, I think the exercise will be a helpful step in acclimating me to the idea. I started writing it last night. I may go work on it some more now.

If you ever want me to take a look at your letter, of course I'd be happy to. I also know how intensely personal it is, so no worries either way.

Keep your head up.

 

Your so optimistic That's good to have before coming out! Don't loose your optimism like me before coming out! I'm coming out to my parents Friday. you're not alone in coming out

 

Daisy - of course I'm happy to read it if I can be of help.

I also commend you on your commitment to the honest approach. I want to follow your lead very badly. Part of me feels like a monster ending things so vaguely after so much time, love, shared experience.

It's funny - when you think about it, there are a small handful of people in your life you can count on, if you are lucky. Parents, siblings, significant other, very close friends (of which we generally only have a few).

I put my girlfriend at the center of this small group of people who is truly there for me in life. To not tell her just seems wrong... but at the same time...I wish I were telling her something smaller, like I lied about some insignificant part of my background, or cheated on my taxes.