This will be long, but really appreciated if anyone could give me another opinion(s) about it.. I'm 18 now, I was raised by my Mom and grew up with my sister. I was never really enrolled in sports or anything a young boy should of been in. I had three buddies in Middle School- some of High School and we would all meet up and jack off or 'dry hump' each other sometimes, we all regretted it but it felt good. After my Sophomore year of HS I moved with my Mother to another town and no longer seen any of my old buddies. I got extremely horny, but have never had sex with guy nor girl. I met someone here that I suspected was gay and told him I was curious and that wanted to explore some time. Well, that sometime came around and we ended up having sex with me topping. I was so disgusted could not wait to get home wash my dick off and clean up, I never wanted to do anything like that again. After some time I was 'curious' again for guys. I met a large amount of gays, and messed around with some of them. Each time liking it while we were doing it, but right after I was just simply disgusted and wanted to be away from them. There have only been two men in my whole life that I actually thought I wanted a relationship with and wanted to be with them after sex. Jarrod, who was in exceptional shape, masculine, in frat, and not out to anyone. Another, Travis, who was also in a frat not so great shape, but a personality to kill for. Jarrod got tired of me over the past two years because I was young and immature. As with Travis, I left for a week to Colorado to Visit my dad and when I came back school started and we went back to his frat and friends and said he was no longer gay and that he wanted me to leave him alone (even though he had bottomed twice and we hung out almost everyday). Now I have hooked up with some guys since then and I think they are disgusting. Right after sex I usually block their number and stop talking to them. I study Construction Science at school and Work for my uncles construction company. I'm around masculine, Alpha Males, all day talking about women. I find myself looking at girls and thinking that are pretty, hot or have huge boobs that are somewhat attractive. I strive to follow my feelings but I can not tell if i'm straight or BI. I watch straight porn but i'rm always focusing on the guys dick. Not looking at the girl in any way. Is this just a stage I was in and am leaving later than most straight men? Thanks for reading this, and I appreciate anybody's feedback.. -Ethan
heres the thing about straight men. Totally heterosexual men are not attracted to men, they don't want to date men, and they don't have sex with men as often as you do your just dealing with the stages of loss associated with coming out. Right now its apparent that you are in the stage of denial, probably associated with your feelings of what it is to be gay, and the feelings of loss you are having about your sense of self/sense of what you should be. What you need to work on is realizing that there is nothing wrong with being gay or bi, that sexuality is a very natural thing, and that you can live a happy wholesome life as an openly gay/bi man. Being gay or bi doesn't have to have all the bad meaning you have associated with it, and you don't need to feel disgusted or ashamed. Sure your image of the white picket fence and the trophy wife, kid, and dog may need a slight adjustment but there is nothing wrong with this new possibility. You are a perfect whole and complete person deserving of love and happiness even if that is with a man by your side instead of a woman.I hope i helped
ooh this is a tought one i like boys and i have a bf but u i think ur bi im sorry to tell u but yea if u like boys and girls then u must be bi yea and gay guys watch straight porn and thats all they focuse on the guys dick i know this for a fact just take a while sit down and think for a while thatsd what i had to do
I felt pretty "dirty" after may first anal encounter. Possibly a lesser version of what some may feel when they have been raped. But the reason I did feel this way, was not because I was straight. But because I knew the timing and person was not right. I was sort of seduced, so it made me felt wrong, which happened to associate with the feeling of being dirty.
I think its most likely to be one of two things. 1. You are gay but dont like anal sex, thats ok there are plenty of other ways to have fun. 2. You are gay and its not that you dont like anal sex but from the way society is you have always associated it as wrong and dirty and so you enjoy it whilst its all happening but then when you think about it afterwards it makes you feel bad. As the others have said it is usually just a stage that some people go through, you have to feel comfortable with who you are, however you label it and then you will start to feel better. I also think that because of how you feel and the way you then block the person out and block their number this could also give you mixed messages and feelings. It is possible you are bi but I dont think you are straight, however only you truely know how you feel.
Well I gotta say, along with everyone else, that if you're having sex with men and finding men you want to be in a relationship with (two already at 18!) and aren't having sex with or pursuing women...I wouldn't even stop at bi, it sounds to me like you're gay. And understand, I'm not using this in a prescriptive sense ("you have to be like this and do such-and-such now"), but in a descriptive sense ("based on your history this is how I would call it"). This is not dissimilar from some experiences I had early on. I used to "accidentally" stumble upon gay porn online during high school, and I was always so ashamed and embarrassed about it afterwards, but I always seemed to keep "finding" it. How are you "meeting a large amount of gays"? Do you seek them out, or are they "just there"? Even now I still find a woman attractive every so often. But I never pursue, have sex with, or form a relationship with any of them - I save that for the guys. But, to focus on something in particular - this feeling of disgust you get after having sex with someone. Do you have any thoughts about why it happens only after the sex?
i dont know. personally i think you're young. you're 18. you're just starting to figure yourself out and see what you like. my personal feeliing is that just having sex with women and enjoying it doesn't mean someone is straight and just having sex with men and enjoying it doesnt mean someone is absolutely gay. think about it. there are countless stories on here about guys having sex with girls in their teens, in college, getting married to girls and then suddenly they start thinking about guys or want to act on having sex with guys and now they are gay. well if you follow the the logic that "oh you're a guy, you had sex with guys at 18, you liked it, then you're not bi you're probably gay" then does that mean that the guys that had sex with girls at 18 and in colllege and got married are probably still straight...? no. my point is, just do you and be you and use condoms. dont try and use labels to define you. only time will tell what you end up liking most. but do not pigeonhold yourself into a box that says you had experiences with guys so you are this or that.
Sounds like you may be bi. Sexuality is fluid. There is a spectrum where on one side is straight and the other is gay. In the middle is bi. It can change over time. I would just go with what feels right for you without trying to label yourself. It seems that your may be physically attracted to both men and women. How do you feel emotionally? If you find that you are gay, don't worry if you find anal disgusting. There are many guys who feel anal sex is gross. It could also be that you may have not found the right person and when you do your whole perspective on anal sex could change. If not thats okay also.
Hi Ethan, welcome to EC. Hope it's proving useful so far! Like EM68 said, sexuality is fluid. You may well be gay; you may well be bi. Equally you can choose to define yourself as simply "not straight", as I do. I feel that classifying myself as "gay" (which effectively I am) carries certain assumptions which I think are illegitimate. Also bear in mind that not being straight doesn't have to entail sex with every guy you come across. I'm 19 and still haven't had sex with another man yet, as of writing! I think sex requires a certain amount of trust from both partners, and I'm not sure I could trust any gay man off the street with my body. For me, sex would have to be emotionally fulfilling. Whatever happens, you need to be ready to mentally as well as physically handle your sexual preferences and accept your sexuality. I think you just need to give yourself time. Hope it all works out for you. Feel free to post on my wall if you need advice. Very best wishes, Doctor Faustus.
I'm afraid I'm going to second many of the posts above, in thinking you're probably gay. "Afraid" not because it's a bad thing to be gay - I think it kicks ass, myself - but because you don't seem ready to really consider that idea. Much of your post sounds like justification for all your gay thoughts and behaviors. You didn't enroll in sports of "anything a young boy should of been in." (Like what? The heterosexual workshops?) You humped around with guys, but it was just fooling around. You've chased after guys, and even had sex with them, but you're suggesting it's "just a phase" you haven't grown out of yet. You look at men's dicks in porn, but only in straight porn. And although you say you look at women and can find them hot, I don't get any sense that you've had sex with one, or even dated one. Whereas you've had sex with several guys. If you ARE bisexual, you certainly seem to be giving the male side the bulk of your attention. First things first, though. When I say I think you're probably gay, this isn't an indictment. It's a "diagnosis", if you will. You can live an amazing, kick-ass life as a gay man - even one at a construction company, in the company of straight guys. (I worked in auto parts for a few years as an "out" gay guy - nobody had an issue with it.) If I seem to be nudging you in that direction, it's not because I want everybody (and you specifically) to be gay. I want people to be what they are. Trying to live as a straight guy when you're gay is often really stressful - much more so than living as an out gay guy. Since all these signs seem to be pointing to "gay", let me suggest something to you. Try it out. That's it. Try "being gay" on for size. You don't have to tell anybody you're doing this. But just go through your day assuming you're gay. Feel free to think "gay thoughts". If you run across a guy who you think has a cute face or a nice ass, feel free to (surreptitiously) look him over a bit. Feel free to fantasize about guys, real and imaginary. Try looking at some gay porn. If anal sex "disgusts" you, skip it, and just watch some oral, or mutual masturbation, or two guys making out. Feel free to jerk off to it, and when you're done, don't "shut down" immediately. Enjoy the afterglow, and how much fun it was. Try it out. See how it fits. Lex
