So something's been bugging me and I have to get your guys's advice. So here goes: My bestfriend has an 8-month old son, he's only 14 though. He met this girl at his beach house, they hooked up, and their son, Jackson, was the product. The girl, and his son, live in Ohio and they never get to see eachother. I'm the only one who he's told, his parents don't even know, and I think it's pretty bad when he doesn't talk to her. They just started talking on Friday, what do you guys think, do they need to talk more? Btw, Jackson is quite a cute baby.
i think that you seem to be taking this pretty lightly. you have to remember that this is a human being we're talking about-- an eight-month old baby, and you guys are incredibly young. how old is the mother? is jackson in good hands? i think your friend should tell his parents. this is a really, really serious thing.
Hailie's 14, and yes he's in good hands, her parents watch him a lot. And he gets emotional about it, which is why I'm the only one who knows, just because he doesn't get to spend any birthdays or holidays with his son. That's also why he hasn't told his parents yet, because he doesn't think that they'd be ok with it, even though he knows that if they got mad he could just stay with me for a couple days.
I agree with addie88 - like it or not, adulthood has been thrust upon your friend, and he needs to take this very seriously. This is a much bigger issue than "I got a D in science" or "I had a party and got drunk while you were out of town." Not to reinforce the heteronormative here, but if he doesn't figure out a way to spend some time with his son and include him in his family, then both he and his son (and probably the child's mother) will regret it for the rest of their lives. He should tell his parents.
Yikes. That sounds like a huge mess. How is his relationship with the girl's parents? Does he help with the baby? How has he managed to keep such a huge secret??
Gravity- I agree, but considering the mom and his son, it's pretty impossible, the nly time he'll ever see them is once in the summer when they're both at the beach at the same time. I understand how big this is, I also understand how mad his parents will get the longer he holds off telling them, but he's my best friend and I won't make him do anything he's not ready to. ---------- Post added 13th Nov 2011 at 06:24 PM ---------- Daisy- The parents don't know him. No: One, he's broke, and two: she's never asked. And very carefully, since I only know and his oarents never check his phone or texts
i think that the parents need to know eventually. (and not eventually as in, oh hey mom and dad-- btw, you have a 19-year old grandson.) As his best friend, you have the moral obligation to try and convince him to tell his parents. it is your friend's responsibility as a father to make sure that he is in his son's life. There are ways to do this-- even if it means skyping, or calling on the phone, or sending videos or pictures or letters. there's always a way.
addie- I won't force him to tell his parents...not yet, hopefully by the time Jackson's 4, which means we'll be seniors, he'll tell his parents. He has been talking to the mom the past couple days, she's not allowed to get a Skpe, I had suggested that to him, and she's also not allowed to get a Facebook. Calling right now is pretty useless since Jackson can't talk yet, but Hailie does send Alex pictures of Jackson every now and then.
A dad at 14?! He doesn't know what he's let himself in for. ...How are Hailie and Jackson supposed to cope by themselves when he goes to college? Having a father out of your life is not the best state of affairs: my parents divorced when I was very young and I was always more than a little resentful that I couldn't - and still can't - relate to my dad like I can to my mum. ...Honestly, grr... :bang: Anyway, this is quite serious as everyone else has made clear. I would advise him to tell his parents when both parties are mature enough to handle the consequences: only Alex can know that for sure. Your friend is going to have to grow up very quickly.
Yeah, well I really doubt his family's ready to deal with it and he's not ready to tell. And he acted in lust and love, he wasn't really thinking of the consequences.
I don't think he was foolish. He really liked her, and they had sex completely on accident. Yes I do think he made a mistake, but I would never call Jackson a mistake. While he can't physically be with his son, he loves Jackson more than anything. Alex is like a brother to me, I'm not going to force him to tell his parents, I've brought it up a couple times and he just got mad. Do I believe he made a mistake? Yes. Does he regret it? Possibly but I doubt it, he loves his son and I think it's really opened his eyes. Jackson's a special baby...and a cute one at that.
