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Explode This Body Off Me...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Spark, Dec 11, 2007.

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  1. Spark

    Spark Guest

    Let me just start off by saying this is an oppurtunity to ventilate out all of my thoughts and feelings because right now im like a dam ready to explode and i dont know whats gonna happen once i do.

    Ever since May it seems like ive just been keeping everything i have to say and everything i have to do inside. Which i know is not good, but i do it anyway. I mean i do other things i know arent good for me but i do them anyway.

    My parents have especially not been getting on my good side. My mom pretends to know what goes on in my life and just tells the whole fucking family im sad because im "just a teenager" and laughs about it. Now she wonders why i roll my eyes when she talks to me. All i know is that her and my dad need a serious fucking reality check, because they must be smoking crack to thing im depressed just because im a teen. But of course if they would shut the fuck up for 2 seconds i could tell them that.

    The people at school need to shut the hell up too. My fellow students need to stop criticizing every part of my body, and telling me things I already know about me. Im not to mad at the teachers, but i am mad about the power that my parents seem to think they have, or the knowledge they think they have. Because if my parents spent a day at my school they would want me to leave that prison as much as i want to leave.

    Now so far ive been pretty pissed throughout this whole post, but right now im jealous. Im jealoys of alot of you guys. Im not my by any mean mad, im just sad. Some of you guys seem to have what i desire so badly. And i guess im selfish and stupid for thinking these things are all that matters right now, but i do. I want the looks that alot of you have. I want the freinds that alot of you have(even though i do have a very few awesome freinds). I want the boyfreinds alot of you have. Im not pleased with myself.

    I guess ive covered it all
     
    #1 Spark, Dec 11, 2007
  2. EthanS

    EthanS Guest

    A lot of us wants that too, yer my parents did that thing too but.... they sed it to my twin not me.. coz hes always grumpy, but i was the one that was actually uphappy they didnt even notice. i keep alotta things to myself .. :frowning2:
     
    #2 EthanS, Dec 11, 2007
  3. InaRut

    InaRut
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    Alot of people think I look good on this forum. And to some degree...yah I don't look to bad. But even I think...I'm too skinny, I'm not muscley enough..etc etc etc. We all have our insecurities and our desires but if your desires are starting to bring you down then I suggest finding someone (and there is someone) to talk to.

    A good thing to do would be to write down everything you don't like about yourself. Then write down everything you like about yourself. And if finding positives is a hard thing then get some outside help to help you complete your list. It could help.

    I'll help you out
    Your able to look inside yourself and see what's troubling you. Your honest with yourself and keep your vent quarrels level sided for the most part.

    As for the Parents and the "Just a teen thing." It's true that teenaged angst is a real bitch to deal with. Specially when you get homosexuality added to it. Anytime I felt cranky my mom often (and still does) say, "Your just a rotten stinkin teenager." Or she'll jokingly say to the people at work, "This is that teenager I've been talking about." You know, there was a time where I just wanted to be left alone (not getting enough sleep, and just stress from school) and mom kept saying that I need to drop this "Teenager bullshit, and become her son again." She was quite frustrated when I wouldn't talk to her in the car. And now that I'm less stressed (although work this week is taking my sleep) and I am talkative (somewhat) again.

    I think that parents just like to displace their problems on teenage angst instead of actualy dealing with them. Not because their bad parents, but just because they believe that person can sort those problems out.

    Anyways, feel better :grin:
     
    #3 InaRut, Dec 11, 2007
  4. Jim1454

    Jim1454
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    It's important to get things off your chest - so it's good that you did that here.

    A couple of comments (for what they're worth...):

    I don't see anything 'wrong' with your appearance! In fact, I was pretty surprised to see your pic after reading your post! You're a good looking young guy! (Feeling a little "dirty-old-man-ish" for saying so... :icon_redf )

    You said yourself that you have some awesome friends - so stick with them. Spend more time with them if you can. Accentuate the positive!

    Finally, (and I know you likely hate hearing this) you're only 15. You've got A LOT of years ahead of you to find a bf and do some of the stuff you read about in here. Gosh! I was 35 before I realized I was gay! You've already accomplished that! So the fact that some people here have a boyfriend doesn't mean you should too. And as I've said before, when you least expect to find someone, that's when they will often appear.

    Oh - and if that's a picture of your backyard... on the inter-coastal waterway in Florida... life could be A LOT worse! You could be here in Toronto battling the snow! :help:

    Good luck. PM me if you want to chat about anything!
     
    #4 Jim1454, Dec 12, 2007
  5. Spark

    Spark Guest

    Thank you everyone for your comments. I definately appreciate all them:slight_smile:
     
    #5 Spark, Dec 12, 2007
  6. Urman

    Urman Guest

    First thing it is not healthy to keep your emotions inside i can tell you this by experience i did the same thing and all it does is make you feel worse.Ok first thing you should do is express how you feel to that person sit down with them example would be your parents and talk to them and tell them what is on your mind most of the time they will sit down and listen to what you have to say. If all fails and that does not work go in to your room and punch your pillow or you can take a piece of paper and right all the angry words that you want to say to express yourself ( makes your you rip it up when your done ). There are many more things that you can do i am going to find some websites that you can take a look at. I know that i personally need to do this when my parents were going throught the divorce

    http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Anger
    http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
     
    #6 Urman, Dec 12, 2007
  7. Spark

    Spark Guest

    Thank you Urman for those links, i actually did some of those things just yesterday(scream into a pillow, and listen to heavy music)
     
    #7 Spark, Dec 12, 2007
  8. Urman

    Urman Guest

    i love listen to heavy music when im really really mad
     
    #8 Urman, Dec 12, 2007
  9. InaRut

    InaRut
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    Or listen to Minnie Riperton
    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uU6aYNXnUk[/YOUTUBE]
     
    #9 InaRut, Dec 12, 2007
  10. Urman

    Urman Guest

    good song very very old haven't herd in a really long time
     
    #10 Urman, Dec 12, 2007
  11. Spark

    Spark Guest

    #11 Spark, Dec 12, 2007
  12. InaRut

    InaRut
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    Is that a loom-guitar-of-dictatorship? I haven't seen that in ages!
    lol
     
    #12 InaRut, Dec 12, 2007
  13. Urman

    Urman Guest

    i never herd this kind of music
     
    #13 Urman, Dec 12, 2007
  14. Spark

    Spark Guest

    ^^Nope, its Bjork and Mark Bells magical rope shooting guitar/gun thing of declare independence-ness?

    Does that clear things up?
     
    #14 Spark, Dec 12, 2007
  15. Spark

    Spark Guest

    Its beautiful isnt it
     
    #15 Spark, Dec 12, 2007
  16. InaRut

    InaRut
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    Oh is that a series 8? Cause I've been meaning to get one of those. Think they sell them at walmart?
     
    #16 InaRut, Dec 12, 2007
  17. Urman

    Urman Guest

    umm i dont know what to say its different
     
    #17 Urman, Dec 12, 2007
  18. Urman

    Urman Guest

    what kind of music would that fall under alternative?
     
    #18 Urman, Dec 12, 2007
  19. Spark

    Spark Guest

    ^^^they are all out, i looked last saturday. I might have to settle for the series 7.99999999 model.:bang:
     
    #19 Spark, Dec 12, 2007
  20. Spark

    Spark Guest

    Bjork is in a class of her own IMO. I mean she does stuff like that, then hits us with things like this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8Z1MpcyqQU
     
    #20 Spark, Dec 12, 2007
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