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in need of advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by sweetband, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. sweetband

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    I think I might bisexual. But I'm not sure. This isn't the first time I have thought about it, its been on my mind for a while, but I honestly can't tell. I spent the weekend at my friends' college with my 3 friends 2 of them are gay and one is bisexual. I'm not sure if I'm thinking I am because I've spent the whole weekend with them or if I'm actually bisexual. I'm just really confused and I really want to be able to tell them so they could help me out with it, but I'm just really scared. I'm not sure how to bring it up because right now I'm just questioning everything and just wondering.
     
  2. BradThePug

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    Well first off Welcome to EC!!

    I can understand that you're scared to tell them. When I was still questioning I had a couple of friends. One was bi and one was trans. One day they were talking about relationships and the conversation came to me. At this point I had not had a boyfriend in a few years because I was confused. I managed to get the words I'm not sure" to come out of my mouth.

    Maybe you could tell them by slipping it into a conversation, or starting a topic in a conversation that leads to you just slipping it in. If your not comfortable saying it out loud, you could write a letter or something as well.

    Best of luck,
    cat
     
  3. sweetband

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    Its hard because in a way I have always known but I didn't understand it for the longest time. And it just really freaks me out because I don't understand any of it. I'm more scared of telling my parents over my friends. My three friends understand it because they have been through it, they have been in my place. But I don't want to say anything to anyone about it until I know for sure but I don't know how to even tell.
     
  4. BradThePug

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    I totally understand what you mean, I knew that I was something for the longest time, I just had no idea what. I at first thought that I was bisexual, but then I realized that I really was not sexually attracted to men. So... I think that I am a biromantic lesbian. But that changes day by day.

    I've only told my mother, but it was really hard for me to do. Right before I moved to college this fall, I sat her down and told her that I was bisexual.

    I would wait to tell you parents for now though until your more confident. That will come with time. It took me forever to realize that I am who I am and I am fine with that.

    You could just tell your friends that you are not sure about your sexuality. Like you have said, they have been there, so they would most likely be able to talk to them about your feelings.

    Also, read around on here a little, that helped me a ton. This site has gotten me to the point where I am now. So, this is a big step for you to join this site, because you are admitting that you are questioning and you are seeking help to find out more about those feelings.
     
  5. Lexington

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    I've spent a lot of nights with straights, but never caught "the straights" from them, if you catch my meaning. :slight_smile:

    If you think you might be gay or bisexual, the first step isn't to come out to the world. It's to come out to yourself. Find out what sort of things turn you on, and get comfortable with the idea. Once you feel comfortable with it all, you can start worrying about telling others.

    So there's your first step. Women, at least on some level, turn you on. So feel free to explore that in private for now. Fantasize about girls, real and imagined. Also, feel free to hang out here, read some more posts, ask a few questions, get to know us a bit more. The more you become comfortable with the whole idea around "what is it to be gay/bisexual", the more comfortable you'll feel about yourself. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  6. sweetband

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    Lex I so didn't mean for it to sound like it was something you could catch. What I meant by that was that it was more introduced to me. Like it opened the idea more to me. (if that makes sense) I am so supportive of GLBTQ community. I've learned that with my friends just because they are GLBTQ doesn't change who they are. They are still the same person, that I love to hangout with and have a good time with. Like 2 of them are in a serious relationship and they can kiss in front of me and I don't mind at all. I've realized that they are definitely out of all my friends who I want to tell first.
     
  7. silverhalo

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    If you come out to them, like you say they will be understanding and supportive and im sure they will help you with coming to terms with it yourself and then when you are ready and the time is right im sure they will help you with telling your parents and stuff, but I wouldnt worry about that just yet you need to be comfortable with it first.