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it's so wrong...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SammieG16, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. SammieG16

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    im dating a guy(im a girl) that i've know since my freshmen year. he's so sweet tho at times he does have a really bad temper. i'm happy with him and love him, but...i also love someone else, my best friend(who's a girl and bi) that i've know since freshmen year too, and oddly enough, they're exs. I want to stay with my boyfriend, but i cant shake the feelings toward my wifey(what we call each other)even though she has a bf too. i dont know what to do, please help me....
     
  2. SammieG16

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    sigh, no one can ever help. im just messed up...
     
  3. silverhalo

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    Hey firstly its not that noone can help you just that not so many people are on at this time of the day, a bit later it will get busier and more people will add their input.

    I dont think you are particularly messed up I think this kind of thing happens more frequently than you would imagine.

    From what you have said I think you have a couple of options:

    1. Stay with your boyfriend and just ignore the feelings you have for your friend. The plus points of this are everything just carrys on as it is and you get to stay with your boyfriend, however it seems that you have tried this for a while and it doesnt seem to be working.

    2. Cheat on your boyfriend with your friend (obviously assuming that she feels the same way, and then decide what you want after you try it. This is definately not to be recommended first of all your friend would have to feel the same way and also be prepared to cheat on her boyfriend, in the long run this will just end up messy and you will loose more because of it. There is no excuse for cheating.

    3. Explain how you feel to your boyfriend, it is unlikely but possible that he will agree to your experimentation whilst staying in a relationship with him.

    4. Find out if your friend feels the same way, if so end things with your boyfriend and try in a relationship with your friend.

    I think it is important to establish whether your friend feels the same way or would be interested in trying a relationship with you because if the answer to either of these things is no then unless you want to leave your boyfriend to experiment with other girls then even ending things with him isnt going to get you the girl.
     
  4. SammieG16

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    me and her have, been together, before.and my boyfriend knows im bi
     
  5. Lexington

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    Then maybe you might need to look into opening up the relationship. Some people are very capable of loving more than one person at the same time. And if you're one, you shouldn't feel you have confine yourself to loving one person at a time. Of course, I feel the only way to do this is on the up-and-up - by making it clear to all parties that this is what you're doing. And if everybody is aware of things, and cool with it, I don't see any reason why you can't have an open relationship.

    Lex
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Just because he knows your bi doesnt mean he would automatically assume you are seeing or being with girls behind his back.

    It really depends whether your boyfriend is willing to open up the relationship or not.
     
  7. SammieG16

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    open relationships arent right. i couldnt do that to him, i know i dont want him sleeping with other girls, im pretty sure he feels the same way. i just want this feeling to go away.
     
  8. Lexington

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    Open relationships ARE right for some people. However, if you don't want him sleeping with other girls, then it seems they aren't right for you. Given that, your best bet is to take some time away from your female friend so you can sort of "reset" your brain and get her back to friend mode.

    Lex
     
  9. SammieG16

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    the problem is i've never seen her as just a friend, i talked to her the first time i did, in hopes of starting a relationship, but it never got to that point. we've kissed and other thing, but never dated. but now that im dating my boyfriend its hard, cause im not one to cheat. im in love with them both, and it really sucks.