So, maybe this is a weird question, but I'm really nervous about coming out to/breaking up with my bf of six years. He most likely has a sense that both parts are coming (especially the breakup), although he does not know that it's just a few days away. I've written him a letter that I will give him to read while we're together, and then I'm thinking we'll talk about the letter, etc. I have no idea whether he will be understanding, but I'm pretty sure he'll be upset. :icon_sad: So, questions for you ECers: would you be ok being broken up with by letter? Should I tell him or make it more obvious in advance that I'm breaking up with him so that he's prepared? Is there anything else I can do to soften the blow? Thanks in advance.
Unless your relationship is long-distance or you're worried your (soon-to-be) ex will be abusive, breaking up any way but face-to-face is a douche-bag move.
We are long-distance, but I am planning break up with him in person. I just wanted give him a letter I wrote while I'm with him so that I can "say" everything without getting too emotional.
In person. No question about it. You need to be there with him and offer a sympathetic shoulder to cry on if needed.
I think what you are getting at is in person WITH a letter. I have had the same thought. In the moment, it would probably be incrediblly difficult to articulate what is on your mind. If you hand it to him or read it to him, while less ideal than speaking your mind, I don't think this would be a bad idea.
thi sis just me but i would not want a dear john letter. if you're going to break up with me. tell me to my face.