Ok. So I have another thread over here - http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/53339-deus-ex-machina.html - where I give an actual background to my situation, who I am, and how I'm coping with stuff. I also provide very long detailed posts about all my problems, and try to make new friends. This thread is not that one. I simply want an answer to the question: How do I get my parents to take me to counselling as soon as damn possible - without letting them know I may be trans - so that I can begin to decide whether or not I am trans. Thoughts? Suggestions? I'll provide details if/when you ask for them.
Tell them about your depression that you mentioned in your other thread, including you suicidal thoughts, and request counseling. When you get in to a counselor, tell the counselor what's up, and see if you can get a referral to someone experienced in what you need.
That's not involving the cost. I'm in a very similar position, and it isn't that I can't *get* to a counsellor - there's an office just a few blocks away. I've merely heard that she charges $150 an hour - a very prohibitive cost for a starving student. What might be possible is to pass it off as counselling for something else, perhaps something school-related? It might work to mention feeling a lot of stress regarding the whole postsecondary/career path issue, and that you feel that talking to a *professional* (stressing this so that they can't just tell you to talk to them) would help you to resolve the issues. Of course, if counselling is free and doesn't require insurance documents or anything down there, then disregard me and just go out to the nearest one :3
Thanks Faustus. *rolls eyes* And how am I meant to pay for all that? ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2011 at 01:02 AM ---------- Thanks Icanthe, that sounds more do-able. Only problem would be convincing my parents to give me counselling just for being depressed. I'll try that on with them tomorrow - but I doubt I'll get a very favourable result. ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2011 at 01:06 AM ---------- Nykoru - this is more like what I was looking for (no offence Faustus). Your idea of passing it off as counselling for the post-exam stresses isn't a bad idea....certainly one I hadn't really considered. The only problem with it is the same problem I envision with involving my parents in getting a counsellor. They are unlikely to think I need one - or that it's even remotley the best thing to do. The really won't consider that an option at this stage - in fact I suspect that If I was prancing about the lounge room, smearing the walls with their own blood, they would still avoid counselling. I mean I'v barely suggested the idea to them - and so far they've renounced it outright. Faustes's idea is sounding a lot more achievable. As for private health insurance. As far as I understand - counselling around here is not free. At all. You need a Medicare card and money. Neither of which I have. My parents have both. FML
Asking for advice and then responding this way to it is quite rude... That said, there are usually programs for people with little to no money, especially if you are having suicidal thoughts. You could always call the local police force and tell them you are suicidal, they will put you in an institution for 48 hours then provide therapy for 6 months
Sorry MommaFrog - and Faustus - I am in a bit of a foul mood - but that should in no way preclude my rude behaivour. I apologise for being so affronting. As for the whole police thing...really? Is that an international thing? I don't live in the US remember. And as much as that does sound like a tempting option - it'd give me the rather large issue of explaining why I called the police - to my parents. Ah well....I'll figure something out. Like I said - didn't mean to be rude - but Faustus and I have an ongoing....thing....and I have a feeling he may have been making that post to humorously poke me for making an equally breif and unhelpful question.
You could always google the mental health laws in your area. My parents threatened to do it to me when I was younger. Here it is called the "Baker Act" but I'm pretty sure most modern countries offer the same thing, different name. Last I checked Australia was fairly modern...
Thanks Momma - some serious research is nessacary on my part - I did embark on a google-quest a week ago - but I'll confess I've barley touched the research side of thing since then. Again - I need to stop moping around and start dealing with the problem - I'm a young adult - no-one else is driving my life but me. Unfortunatley I'm not actually acting that out yet
Here's an idea. Why don't you ask them and see what they say? I'm not sure how much more advice can be offered on this. You've had a conversation with your parents where counselling has been mentioned, and one of your parents had been the one to suggest it. So you go back to your mom and tell her that you think it would help. That you have some things on your mind that are really bothering you. That those things have been the source of much of your stress and anxiety and antisocial behaviour recently, and that you'd like to talk about them with a professional. If she asks what those issues are, tell her that you don't feel comfortable talking about them with her right now, and that you'd like to take them up with a therapist.
Jim. Jim. Jim....My dear friend Jim.. (spoken in a conciliatory fashion, with a pipe between the teeth and a bowler hat clamped on my head.) As usual of course. You are absolutely right. I would like to point out that I have since gone back to my mother and mentioned that I think we/I need councilling, in a separate conversation - all right it wasn't one dedicated to the issue - but it was along similar lines. She again dismissed the idea. I'm going to have to wad my courage up and ask her directly though. I'm planning on following Doctor Faustus' advice at the top of the forum today - scouting out the world for help, and if that doesn't go well, I'll come home and confront my mother directly. I feel a bit wrong to address this with her while Dad's out of the country, but I'm also sick of not making any progress on this. So there. I'll update my main thread with any progress that's made. 11
If you mention your suicidal thoughts (which you mentioned having had in your other thread) I think they should be very likely to take you to a counselor.
i'm in quite the same situation as you but im attempting to see a counselor provided by my college. Without that, i think talking to my parents about wanting to sort some psychological issues out would be the best bet. You should only go as far in explaining as you are comfortable and if they don't accept that then you can pursue other options like the suicide therapy and such. Before you go to that extreme you should simply talk to them. This, of course, depends on your relationship and openness with your parents. If it is not very open you might want to consider other options or use this as an opportunity to strengthen it. Hope i was of some help! if not, sorry
Thanks a lot for the reply Pheonix That is essentially what I've done - I've told them I'm depressed (not I'm depressed because I'm questioning my gender). It was a pretty painful experience for them, we spent nearly 5 hours straight discussing it into the early hours of the morning. Our relationship is alright, they want it to be better - but I don't really care at the momment. They're good, open-minded, worldly people who care about me - but I just don't mesh with them right now. I tend to be very closed about my life around them - so it really came as a shock when I practically begged them to see a psychologist - however they have agreed at this stage that I can see one - but they want to be involved every step of the way, and they want us to work on our relationship. They really do seem a bit hurt that I hid a problem like this from them - which I can fully empathise with - but that dosn't make me want to tell them the real reason for my depression any sooner. Thanks for the help Pheonix.
Any time, just trying to be of as much help as possible. From how you described your relationship with your parents it seems similar to how mine is now. Good relationship but i've been closing them off recently because of how i've been feeling. so the similarities continue lol Back to the point, I hope everything works out for you. I'd like to return your invitation to talk whenever you need to. I'm more than willing to offer whatever help I can!
