I finally came out sort of. Early this morning, I left a letter taped to my friends door, where she and another friend who was staying the night could not miss it. I haven' heard from either of them, text, email, etc. I don't know if they didn't see it, which I don't believe is possible or don't know how to respond. Or If they didn't open it. I purposefully left a letter so I wouldn't have to talk to them initially because I know I can't do that. Mostly I am nauseous with anxiety right now and I can't think straight (no pun intended) about what I should do.
Have you contacted your friend to see if she received or read the letter? If there's little chance that she missed it, perhaps she isn't sure how to approach you and by getting in touch with her [even if you are feeling extremely anxious] it might help both of you feel more at ease talking about it after letting her know.
Could you send her a text message, even if you just for start off said hi how are you? Or something like that.
I hate to say it, but are you sure it wasn't nicked and read by someone else? You probably would have been better off tucking it under her door :/ Write her another one or text/email her or something and ask if she's received it. Be quite informal. Say something along the lines of "Hi, how are you? Did you get that message I left on your door? Best wishes." Hope this helps, Dr F.
So it turns out that my anxiety was for naught. I came home to find a note, which unfortunately said, "we won't bring it if you don't," which is pretty much the exact opposite of what I wanted, but that that the way the cookie crumbles I guess it is not so hard now that I have said it even via letter. I don't really feel different... mostly hungry... dinner time!
I think we're missing a word. I presume the note he got read: "We won't bring it up if you don't." Marlowe, what exactly did the note you wrote them say? Actually, if you could give us the exact words of both notes, it would help. As close as you can, anyway.
Ah, yes, that would do it. I wrote: Hey [names], I have had something I’ve needed to talk to you about for a while, but I realized that I would never be able to say this in person. It’s just the way I roll. Like how I didn’t mention that I had gotten the fellowship because it never came up. Anyway, I’m pretty sure I’m gay. Actually scratch that, I am almost certain this is true. That’s it. It’s not a really big deal to me anymore. In typical fashion, I spent a lot of time contemplating this personally and so I have worked out a good understanding and acceptance with this. So I don’t know I guess this puts the awkward ball in your court. -- [Marlowe] P.S. What did zero say to eight? A: Nice Belt! (Here, I just came out, and I am already talking about fashion!) And their Response was: [Marlowe]! We are honored that you felt ready to tell us. We won't however bring it up unless you do. We love you! (fer realz) [names]
Since they have said that they won't bring it up unless you do, and seem to be accepting, bring it up when you meet them next time. A letter or note is the precursor to a true conversation.
