Okay so today I went to the doctors to get a few minor things checked out, my doctor is like the nicest person ever she actually cares about her patients and remembers everything from your last appointment even if it was months ago. While I was there I started thinking about the trouble I have been having with coming out so I plucked up the courage to tell her I'm gay (I got really emotional when talking about it to her), now I know shes a professional and there is no risk as she won't tell anyone but it felt amazing to actually say out loud to another person, we had a 20 minute chat about how I was feeling, who I would be able to tell in my family if I needed to and she also said it might be a good idea to talk to a councillor about it (which I agreed to). When I left the doctors I felt really great. The only thing is about 5 minutes later my head was filled with stupid doubts, I mean I have come to terms with being gay so I guess that's just a normal thing. The thing is the doctor told me to only come out when I felt ready, but I'm not sure if I will ever be completely ready there's always going to be some fear of doing it, I mean I really want to tell my sister and my Dad as I'm really close to them (although they live 200 miles away) and I'm finding it harder and harder to keep a secret. I have also started going on some internet dating sites and I am worried that someone will come across my profile and out me which is like my worst fear as my family would be really upset that I didn't tell them before it got out. So yeah an extremely emotional day, happy, nervous, sad and kinda scared but at least some progress
Your doctor is a wonderful person to treat her patients with so much kindness and concern (like all doctors should). Some doubt or fear will always accompany coming out to anyone, because you can never be 100% sure that someone will take it well. Stress is a necessary part of life, and every person you come out to is one fewer person you have keep it a secret from. Some progress is still progress, and without pain there can be no gain (there may even be more pain). So kudos to you for telling your doctor, and best of luck to you on telling your immediate family.
I'm glad to hear that your doctor is so kind and compassionate! My advice to you is that you should just give it time if you feel you're not ready. We've all been there. You certainly don't want to rush these things - there isn't a ticking time bomb that will explode if you don't come out. I found that it was a lot easier to come out in steps. I notice that you enjoy playing video games. Do you play online games by chance? Any close online friends? Perhaps, if you're willing, you can come out to them. I still remember my friend: "Who cares?!" - it certainly took me out for a surprise. Although they may not make a significant impact on your life outside of the online gaming world, it still takes weight off your shoulders, and you'll begin to grasp the concept of 'coming out' to others. After some 'practice', you can come out to your friends, and eventually your family at your own pace. About the online dating profiles, I personally don't think you should worry too much. Really, what is the chance of someone you know being on there? And again, what's the chance that they know your family and tell them before they talk to you? But like I said before - take some steps. There is no rush. Just don't bottle your feelings up... That never ends well. Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine.
thanks for the replies, I play online games but don't play enough to consider any people as close friends but that has got me thinking. I suppose the online dating thing isin't too risky it still makes me worry though, then again I have already talked to some really cool guys through it so I guess the benefits outweigh the risks.
