So I like this girl a lot, & I know she likes me, she's made it very clear. I almost came out to her as being both transgender & as a lesbian when I saw her FB page & it said that she was interested in women. When I asked her about it, she said someone changed it on her as a joke. When it came up a couple days later, she said that she changed it herself as a joke when she was drunk. Then I just checked her page again yesterday & it STILL says she's interested in women. So now, I dont know if she's gay or straight or what. All I do know is that she really likes me. When I first asked her about it & she said it was someone else who changed it, I told her that if she was, I didnt care & that I would still like her as much just the same. Her answr to me was 'Awww, thats sweet. Youre awesome. Les get together soon!' So I really have no idea what to think about her, I feel like Im totally getting mixed signals from her & I have no idea if I can tell her Im female, gay & totally into her...
Hi there! Why not just take her up on her offer of getting together soon? You could send her a message over FB, and ask her if she would like to get together for a coffee next weekend. I think getting together for a coffee, would definitely give you a chance to get to know her better, and learn as to what her intentions are, and what 'kind' of feelings she has for you. Often, when we have a crush on someone or start developing feelings for someone, we start losing sight of things. Talking with her, will also help you to determine if there is potential or if she 'just' would be a good friend. Talking to her, will also give you the opportunity to let her know that you are female and gay. Try to gauge as to how the conversation goes. If you feel that you have a good vibe and it clicks, let her know your feelings for her.
Hey, that's great that you have feelings for someone else! Crushes are always fun. I just wanted to give you my opinion - although it is useful, try to take her Facebook page with a grain of salt. I know plenty of people on Facebook who have misleading information on their page. They don't necessarily realize it either! One of my gay friends has 'Interested in Women' on his page just for fun. If you don't mind me asking, how exactly do you know that she is into you? Just as Mirko said, once we develop feelings for someone, we start losing sight of things. I'm definitely guilty of that, as are many people. Are you sure that you're not overanalyzing everything? It's definitely fine if you are - it happens. I just want you to be careful and to not get hurt! I think you should get together with her too. That way, you'll get some of your questions answered for sure!
Well, I know that she likes me as we have already had one date together, about a month before I came out. I felt so uncomfortable, as I normally do on dates because Ive always never been able to be myself, that I didnt see her again until almost 3 weeks after I came out at the end of June. We ran into each other & it looked to me like she was with this guy, but then when I saw her again at the beginning of August, she was a bit upset that i hadnt called her or gotten together with her. Then we started texting on & off, & she said a few times that she wanted to 'hook up' with me, which the context she was giving it, made it sound like she wanted to do a lot more than just hang out. Then tonite, we sort of made plans to go to this concert thing going on on Sunday, so Im left wondering again what the deal is. I know she really likes me, I know I really like her, but Im just totally unable to figure out if she'd be safe to come out to & that, if she is, if she'd be into a relationship with a girl like me. Argh!!! :bang:
Hi there! If you already had a date and you know she really likes you, and you feel that she might be into girls, I'd say, go to the concert, and after that or the next day find a quieter place to talk. Don't think about it as a date; just as a friendly get together. A chance to get to know her even better. From what you have said, it looks like that she has also initiated a bit. Built on it. From what you have said, she probably would be into dating and perhaps even a relationship with a girl like you. Don't make it a bigger deal than it actually is. The important thing is, try to take it step by step, and not to rush into things. Go on a few more dates. Keep it casual. As you get together with her more often, the more comfortable you will also become around her, and the easier it will also be for you to come out to her, and let her know that "this is me." (*hug*)
That does make sense & I really have considered that as my approach, but at the same time, I dont want to go out on a few dates with her & then turn around & have her feel betrayed or like I lied to her when I finally tell her Im transgendered. Like saying, Im nott actually a guy & then have her feel like I was being dishonest with her. But I will try that anyway. She sort of already knows me a bit, I just didnt want to have her feel like Im building a relationship on false pretenses...
Hi there! Hope you don't mind me asking, but how far are you into transitioning? I do have the feeling though that you are over thinking it a bit. Just go with the flow. From what you have said, there are positive signs that she might be interested in you. For some people, gender doesn't matter all that much. Could it be that she likes you for who you are?
Im really early into transitioning right now. So far, Ive just had my first & only appt with my therapist & Im working on trying to start on hormones as soon as humanly possible. Its been a daily struggle to not start self-medicating with hormones bought off of the internet & Ive really started to start looking at herbal HRT, since Ive been doing some research into that as well. I still have to look like a guy, but I go to college everyday dressed female pretty much, women's jeans, my hair in a ponytail, a hoodie & everything underneath meaning *ahem* underwear. My friends already treat me as female & address me with female pronouns, but I still have yet to actually tell this girl (she's the same age as me BTW) that Im a girl & I dress as such. Maybe I am overthinking it, but part of me hopes that she just tells me on Sunday that she is fact gay, so I can at least come out to her & feel like she'll at least be open-minded enought to still be friends...
Hi there! Ah okay! Well, I guess the approach that you could take then is really just to take the cues from her. Go to the concert with her on Sunday and see what happens. Should she confirm that she is gay, maybe try mentioning it to her that you are transgender and that you hope to be able to start the transition soon. It seems that it is a weight on your mind and maybe having it in the open up front will allow you to move forward. From everything you have said, I think I would be surprised if she wouldn't be open-minded and wouldn't support you. (*hug*)
I actually think you could have a really honest conversation with her. Explain what's been going on with you, and that you really like her, but you didn't follow up after your first date because you were dealing with issues about your gender, and you think she may not want to date you as a woman. You think she really needs to know before things go any further, to spare both of you extra pain. You understand if she's no longer interested, but you hope that you can at least still be friends. All of that's true, right?
