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Sexual Orientation and Society Crisis

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hanyuu Furude, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. Hanyuu Furude

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    Alright.

    So I have finally came out of the closet and the whole school knows. No big deal, mostly everyone accepts it. But heres the problem, I know mostly that I am gay, but I keep on shifting alittle to other girls. I mean, I'm friends with alot of girls and if I shift over to be "Straight" it'll end up ruining my friendship and labeling me as one of THOSE "Players". What do I do, and am I a bad person for thinking like this? I mean, I want to stay being gay. I'm happy this way but this wierd confusion keeps on stopping me.

    Please help me.
     
  2. stad90

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    Sexuality is definitely not set in stone. Some peoples' sexualities are a bit more fluid than others. Mine is pretty rigid (hence the reason I label myself as "gay" as a timesaver), but that doesn't mean that I occasionally have feelings for girls. I know many guys and girls who tend to drift back and forth between attractions and have strong relationships with both. I have a friend who swore he was "99% gay"—yet he found that girl representing that "1%" and they've been dating for several months now.

    Give yourself some time and don't worry about labelling yourself. Just go with what feels right. And congratulations for coming out to the school! :grin:
     
  3. Ianthe

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    Also, sexuality can be influenced by the situation. If you are socializing with only girls, it's more likely that you will be attracted to them even if you wouldn't be normally. You can be attracted to partner that is atypical for you if that is the only kind of partner that is available.

    The problem with it is that eventually the situation will change, and you will have more male partners available to you, and then you probably won't be satisfied in the relationship any more.

    Of course, some people are also bisexual. But you have to determine whether you could be satisfied in a relationship with a girl if you had the option of a relationship with a guy.
     
  4. Lexington

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    Well, let's just pretend you DO fall for a girl. At that point, the wise move isn't to slyly try to get into her pants. Instead, just tell her. "I was pretty sure I was gay, and that I wouldn't really get any feelings for a woman. But now I'm finding I AM getting feelings for you. I'm kinda confused by that, but I'd still like to try to get into a relationship with you. If that's something you don't want to do, or if you want to think about it for awhile first, I totally understand."

    And as for your reputation? Just own it. "I really thought I was just gay, but it looks like I'm bisexual." End of story.

    Lex
     
  5. hiddenxrainbows

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    Yeah, you might end up being bisexual, if you're getting feelings for both guys and girls. But no matter what you are, there's nothing wrong with it. Don't focus so much on labeling yourself right now. Just try to figure out how exactly you feel and what feels right to you. Once you figure out for sure, you can always come out again, if it turns out you're bi or something. Just tell the people that sexuality isn't an easy thing to figure out, and you thought you were gay but you're bi or whatever. I don't think many people will get on your case about switching.