Is this a sign that my mom already suspects it?

If she said "man" before "girl," she almost certainly suspects, in my opinion.

Moms often know. They often know even before we do. Mom is more likely than anybody to be like, "Oh, honey, I knew when you were three and you developed a huge crush on the neighbor boy." So, yeah.

 

She might suspect it, but she might just be testing the waters. But it might not be set in yet as a reality. I am also quite "straight acting" or however you put it.., and none of my 3 sisters or parents actually knew before I told them.

My mom would regularly make such cracks before I came out. When I would come home from college she would ask if I was seeing any girls, I would respond "no". She would respond with "Boys?" and I again would say "no", and she would always say "Just checking."

And when she went on a vacation to San Francisco she jokingly asked me if I wanted any gay pride paraphernalia. I said no, but took it as a HUGE sign that she had some suspicions.

But then when I told her, she was in total shock. In the end it all worked out and she's fine with it, but apparently these signals that I interpreted as suspicions meant nothing. I explicitly asked her if she knew beforehand, and she said she had no idea. Weird weird..

 

It's also possible for her to suspect, but still be in denial about it. Which means that, deep down, she suspects, but would probably never admit it even to herself.

 

She might have her suspicions, but then again, she might have no clue. I know a lot of people who pick on others, friends and family mainly, about being gay. Just to mess around ya know? Not anything serious. Most of my friends did this to me before I came out. And though a lot of them seemed to already know that I wasn't straight, there was actually a guy friend that joked with me a lot about me being with girls, and he said that he really had no clue. He said he could've sworn that I was straight...So while it could mean that your mom has her suspicions, it doesn't necessarily mean anything.

 

This^

But also, it could just be her trying to feel things out. Parents occasionally do that, in various forms. I was also going to suggest that maybe she's just trying to be inclusive and supportive, should you turn out to be gay (surprise!). What makes you think she wouldn't be as supportive as your father, though?

 

In my opinion she either already knows or has strong suspicions.I think that you should use these little comments to your advantage somehow,you know her,what can you say to get her to elaborate on her comments.If she suggested that i find a boy to kiss,i would reply with something like,"How do you know i havn't" and just see where she takes it from there.

Doing something along that line would be a good way to maybe get an idea of her reaction or expression on her face etc.If all seems positive,you have made yourself a perfect time confirm what she basicaly knows.

Good luck.

 

sounds like the mom is accepting so it doesn't matter. seems like u should start wiht her since she already knows or is open to it.

 

I would at least say she is either suspecting, or just not positive either way but showing she is accepting. But don't forget your perspective on this. It's like when you get a car you never see, and then see it all the time. ANYthing she says about anything related to being gay is going to set an alarm off for you. So just be careful you aren't making signs from nothing but passing comments.

 

If she consistently makes these sort of comments from time to time, then it sounds like she knows and it may be that she also really wants you to come out to her or let you know that she would be accepting if you wanted to come out.

 

your mom could just be incredibly open minded and maybe think there is a possibility you are gay so she leaves the door open by mentioning men and women in reference to who you may be interested in. Sounds to me like she would react fine if you came out, i'd say go for it.

 

Your mom will accept you. I think that is pretty clear from everything you've said.

Not to say it will necessarily be without any regret, but you aren't going to lose her.

Only really, really homophobic people actually disown their gay kids, and even then, they usually come around eventually. People who've expressed the kinds of opinions your mom has don't put up very much resistance at all, if any.

Anyway, she already knows.

What does your brother think about how your parents will react? Will he support you when you tell them?

 

If that's the worst case scenario, I say tell her. Who knows, she might react better than you expect if she really has these "intuitions". Better to tell her and have a bit of shit thrown at you than not tell her and always tiptoe around the subject and worry about it. ... I mean, she's your mum, right? She is family.

Either way, hope it works out. Feel free to write to me if you need advice.

Very best regards,

F.