What happened to this fabled Gaydar everyone keeps going on about? I am getting tired of being alone. I want a girlfriend, and maybe eventually a little more. I don't know, I feel ready to settle down and start a family...but, I have no idea how to attract a woman. I know I don't attract men, I look more like a boy then anything really, if it weren't for my chest... So here is the deal. I have no social skills, no flirtation skills, no experience. But I want to get into a relationship... its so hard being gay, because as we all know, not everyone is, and I just can't tell who is gay and who isn't? So I just don't approach anyone... And dating websites haven't worked... I'm starting to give up. How do you attract a partner? I have no idea...:help:
lol, I've always just assumed anyone could be up for grabs and flirted my face off..but that's just me, I suppose --huh, how to get a girlfriend.. there's one I've been trying to understand myself.. I get on a few dates, and somehow it just doesn't seem to be working, sometimes I think I'm pushing too hard to find "the one".. Any groups you could join? Are you in school or anything? I've met quite a few people through my pride group in uni -- and my community has some events just for glbtq peoples (of varying ages) maybe you could check that out? Go with some friends, and just focus on meeting people, not on settling down.. or maybe cafes or gay bars -- they'll set up events that are more than just people hooking up and drinking/dancing to loud music, that way you can actually meet people..although, going on dancing nights is a great way too -- the gay bars I've been to are always so amazing in atmosphere, much better than any "straight" bar I've been to.. Also, just have fun -- you know people can notice when you're forcing yourself, and I don't mean don't act nervous if you are nervous.. I just mean.. sometimes you need to let it go before the perfect someone comes upon you.. if that made sense.. and sometimes you'll just make more friends and it'll seem like you'll never find someone.. but.. eh, pushing yourself more and more will only make you more depressed or upset that things aren't happening right away. anyway, I think I'm rambling cos I'm so sleepy.. best get off the forums and crash.. goodluck darlin and btw, a lot of people dating feel the same way as you do -- which might make you feela bit better -- just be yourself, have fun, relax, breathe and don't rush around or else you might miss something that just takes time.. ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2011 at 12:00 AM ---------- -- We all start off with the no experience, and as for flirting.. sometimes some people are just straight up about it, and there isn't any subtle flirting stuff--and you'd be surprised what the right person can really bring out in you..maybe you just haven't found your flirting inspiration yet... Also, "no social skills" -- ahh, just gotta take a risk and start talking to people -- they may surprise you and you may surprise yourself with how easy it can come..but it's scary putting yourself out there, I get it.. As for "attracting a woman" -- bow-chicka -- "more like a boy than anything" sounds good to me.. and it's something I know a lot of girls go for..
Thanks XD I don't like parties, crowds bother me. I live in a pretty close-minded community, and the closest place like a gay bar is Vancouver, which is a 4 hour drive. There is not even a real LGBTQ group here in town, there is a small one, but its really only for parties, no casual get-togethers. That's one of the reasons I was thinking about moving... if I stay here, I might just be single forever lol!
I'm in the same boat as you, so obviously I'm not quite qualified to give advice on this matter. It's kind of like job-hunting--you need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get experience, and 99.9% of the jobs out there require experience. Oh, and all the job advice websites are geared toward those who already have experience. Gaah! How come online dating hasn't worked out? If you don't mind me asking, which sites did you use?
My advice since you live in a small town that is a ways away from any gay establishment is to jump online & try an online dating site for lesbians. There are a few good ones out there, & since you have posted here on EC & been pretty honest & open with all of us here, you could always give chatting on a dating site a try & see if you can connect with someone in your area. I live in a pretty conservative area in SW ON, & there is no gay bars here, the closest are an hour away. I know a couple of friends I have said that when they first came out as bisexual, they had to go online to find someone of the same sex when they were interested in meeting someone. It can be tricky, but I think people in small towns may find it easier & a bit safer than coming out in order to meet people. Just start out with chatting & then if things work out with someone you meet (hopefully someone closer in your area), then you can decide how you want to handle it from there! Good luck tho, I know how scary dating can be, but I know how much being lonely sucks even more...
