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Asking a girl out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Daisy1, Nov 26, 2011.

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  1. Daisy1

    Daisy1
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    I'm working up the courage to ask a girl out for the first time. We met at a bar last night, hit it off, and I'm pretty sure she's into me. We texted briefly after we left the bar (separately). Now I'd like to see if she wants to get a drink or something.

    So, which is better: drinks or coffee?

    And can I ask her out via text? I feel like calling her would be way too awkward.
     
    #1 Daisy1, Nov 26, 2011
  2. Veronica

    Veronica
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    Dunno. I usually go for coffee first time. And texting isn't a problem imo.
     
    #2 Veronica, Nov 26, 2011
  3. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Texting is fine to gauge interest and set up a date. :slight_smile:

    "Hey, it's Daisy. Just wanted to say I had a great time last night. Would love to get together again soon. Would you be free for coffee sometime this weekend?"

    Lex
     
    #3 Lexington, Nov 26, 2011
  4. Katelynn

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    I think Lex has the best way of saying it. Coffee is usually best for a first get together b/c its casual & you can both be a bit more relaxed...
     
    #4 Katelynn, Nov 26, 2011
  5. Daisy1

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    Yay! Thanks Veronica, Lex and Kiersten!

    ---------- Post added 26th Nov 2011 at 02:09 PM ----------

    Sent!
     
    #5 Daisy1, Nov 26, 2011
  6. Veronica

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    Yay :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Veronica, Nov 26, 2011
  7. firemaker13

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    Lex is right.
     
    #7 firemaker13, Nov 26, 2011
  8. Daisy1

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    She said yes! We are getting coffee tomorrow afternoon!! :slight_smile:

    Now, of course, I'm totally nervous. What if she thinks it's lame that I'm not totally out yet, or that I just got out of a relationship with a man, or that I've never slept with a woman :frowning2:

    Luxury problems, I know, but still!
     
    #8 Daisy1, Nov 26, 2011
  9. Fluffster

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    ^^^You're so cute. I know how you feel. Just know you don't have to tell everything right away. It might be good to hold some cards back.
     
    #9 Fluffster, Nov 26, 2011
  10. Katelynn

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    Hey, relax! The best part is that she said yes! As for all that other stuff, try to put it out of your mind. Obviously she likes you for you, so dont worry too much about the sexual end of the spectrum, since dating isnt just about sex. Look at it this way - just approach this like any other first date that you have ever had wth anyone. The nervousness will be there, the butterflies, the uncertainty, but if you both like each other, then that will hopefully lead to a second date, & a third & so on! You dont have to feel like you need to disclose everything to her right away, right? It's like job interviews, you dont walk in & tell your life's story in 10 minutes. It sort of is like a information overload which makes it hard for people to process all at once. Besides, part of the fun of dating is getting to know someone over a period of time & finding all those quirky little surprises about them that make you smile! So dont feel like you need to rush to the finish line or anything! (*hug*)
     
    #10 Katelynn, Nov 26, 2011
  11. In The Clouds

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    Awwww! Hope it goes well! :thumbsup:
     
    #11 In The Clouds, Nov 26, 2011
  12. Veronica

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    Awesome!
    Keep us posted :slight_smile:
     
    #12 Veronica, Nov 26, 2011
  13. SomethingSimple

    SomethingSimple
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    Agh, you're probably on the date right now! Update us!
     
    #13 SomethingSimple, Nov 26, 2011
  14. Daisy1

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    Haha, date's not for a few hours, but I've already picked out my clothes and I'm super excited and nervous! I'm just going to smile a lot and hope she thinks I'm cute. And hopefully she won't ask too many questions about my ex-boyfriend and all that stuff.

    Will post afterwards!
     
    #14 Daisy1, Nov 27, 2011
  15. SomethingSimple

    SomethingSimple
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    Good luck!
     
    #15 SomethingSimple, Nov 27, 2011
  16. Lexington

    Lexington
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    The whole reason you're going is because YOU LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH HER. So go spend more time with her, and have a good time. That's the best way to make a good impression. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #16 Lexington, Nov 27, 2011
  17. Daisy1

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    Update: it went really well! Our coffee date lasted three hours and we have lots in common and it was nice. We did not kiss, but there was no good moment and I'm fairly certain that we will see each other again. So pleased right now!
     
    #17 Daisy1, Nov 27, 2011
  18. Ianthe

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    Awesome! Congratulations!
     
    #18 Ianthe, Nov 27, 2011
  19. silverhalo

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    Awesome. I dont think she will care if you are not completely out or that you just broke up with your boyfriend as long as you are honest with her. It doesnt mean you have to tell her everything straight away but when it comes up be honest.
    At the end of the day if she has a problem with any of that stuff then no matter how cute she is, she isnt the right girl.
     
    #19 silverhalo, Nov 28, 2011
  20. Veronica

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    Nice! I'm really happy for you :slight_smile:
     
    #20 Veronica, Nov 28, 2011
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