so i have this friend ... known him for almost 5 years, since 7th grade. not to brag, but ive always been the nice one, and he is ... very sarcastic. a lot of times he can be an asshole, a big one at that. and it just isnt fair that HE has this huge house, while i live in a tiny apartment with my mom, he has loving and accepting parents while mine think of gays as monsters, worse then the plague, he has caring and supportive older brothers, and as much as i love them my older brothers are losers who never ---------- Post added 27th Nov 2011 at 01:58 AM ---------- (right so my psp will only let me write so much and i cant use the fam. computer for this, so sorry for multiple posts. continued from last post) who never taught me anything or encouraged me to be or do anything. even though he is such a jerk he has way more friends then me, and people just seem to like him. im pretty opinioniated so people see me as an ass right off the bat and usually refusd to get to know me as nice as i try to be. before i figured everything out i had asked out several girls which ---------- Post added 27th Nov 2011 at 02:09 AM ---------- ended with me in tears. and as soon as i start to accept that i was gay one of the hottest girls in my class asks me out, like some cruel joke. and my friend,L, after getting dumped by this really nice, smoking chick, an even better girl falls basically in his ****ing lap. and she is isnt bitch or anything, in fact if i wasnt gay i would be devestated he got her and not me. and they have this amazing, make movies about, romantic reletionship. ive never even held hands with anyone, im almost 17. and i cant
even say 'well at least i have God something L will never undestand', because he is a strong christian. so is his girlfriend. they go to church together every sunday, if you can believe that ****. and he doesnt appreciate ANY of it, except maybe his girl. he walks around looking glum all the time. i have nothing. ive never felt this depressed in my entire life, not even when i was first accepting myself as gay. i have a lot of friends i guess, but out of school there is no contact, really. L was closest ---------- Post added 27th Nov 2011 at 02:31 AM ---------- friend, and i was his shoulder, someone he could lean on when was feeling blue, he doesnt have time for me with his relationship and everything, so ive just been bottling this up, and i feel like im going to explode in either sadness or anger, maybe both. i cant even be near L and his gf without just feeling alone and pitiful. my mom even has a boyfriend, its rediculious. my perverted, nerd friend even had a gf. i just dont understand it, why do nice guys have to finish last? im all but openly gay, anyone ---------- Post added 27th Nov 2011 at 02:43 AM ---------- who asks i just tell. in my schools gsa most guys there are either dating someone already or are'nt ready for a relationship. or theyre women. i just feel like crap all the time, i think im just going to tell my friend and his gf i cant take being around them anymore, i cant have their ****ing fairy taile on top of all my other depressing thoughts. i dont mean to sound like a complainer or some jealous kid, i just need to tell someone how i feel, needed to rant, sorry.
I'm going to tell you something that I wish someone had told me when I was your age: Don't compare yourself to others. You will be miserable. If you spend all of your time looking around you and focusing on what other people have that you don't have, you'll always feel bad. You are constantly focusing on what's wrong with your life and that makes it impossible for you to be happy. Believe me, it's no way to live. I lived like that for many, many years. As a result, some great things have happened in my life that I haven't been able to enjoy because I was too busy comparing myself to others. Break that habit! Enjoy what you have! In every situation, good or bad, try to look at the bright side. I know it sounds cheesy, but try it. Based on your post, I can list positive things about your life and I don't even know you! -You have brothers that you love -You know that you're a nice guy -You've already figured out your sexuality (kudos to you!) -You're opinionated, so you know what you believe in -You have a PSP! XD I implore you to embrace any positive aspects of your life and to seek out positivity wherever you can find it. I'm trying to use this in my own life as well, so you're not alone. Try to be content with yourself.
What throw said. I really wish someone had told me that earlier too. It is a struggle not to compare yourself to others, I know: I have tonnes of things I wish I could change, but wishing they could change isn't the same as being happy with what you have. I am at an amazing university. I do an amazing degree, met some amazing people whom I am sure I'll be in contact with for a very long time even if we've only known each other for a few months. The upshot of all this is: Don't take life for granted! It's a gift that your parents gave to you. Use it with wisdom and awesomeness.
I will repeat this for emphasis: don't compare yourself to others. It's still something I struggle with on a daily basis, so I know how you feel. Even people who seem to have absolutely everything they would ever want or need will compare themselves sometimes to others less fortunate. What we wish we had, at least one person in the world will have, and constantly thinking about this fact will make us lose sight of what we DO have. Sure, it seems like right now, your friend has many things that you want--a more supportive family, a big single-family house--but do you want to be a sarcastic asshole like him? He isn't appreciative of what he has; in fact, I'd say he's an entitlement brat taking his good fortune entirely for granted. That's no way to live, either. If you were to compare yourself to him in terms of what's truly important (character) he just can't compare.
thanks for the replies guys! i gotta say i feel a lot better, and i need to stop looking at others lives and focus on mine. thanks for the advice!
