1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

relationship abruptly ended

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by splattered, Nov 27, 2011.

  1. splattered

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2010
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    My relationship is more bi-polar than me, except some things you can change... I have codependency issues though and so does she (she worse than I). But I don't want to go back to her. Its unhealthy. I don't know what I'm going to do (cry, write songs, buy records, let it sink in slowly like every other heartbreak I've experienced in my life) I don't know but I can't go back to her. Every night we're together she cries and blames me and I'm not even doing anything. And she asks me if I'm going to marry her all the time and how she wants kids and I could say yes or no it doesn't matter its gonna end with me consoling her while she's in tears. the other day she got mad and reminded me how she needs kids in the next four years or "she'll have them with someone else". she's 32 I just turned 23. I don't want to think ahead to much but maybe I could just have fun and be a single 23yr old for a while. But how do I make this time different and not go back to her?
     
  2. Filip

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2009
    Messages:
    2,355
    Likes Received:
    105
    Location:
    Belgium, EU
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, the best way not to go back is pretty simple, but also pretty harsh: cut any and all lines of conversation. Delete phone numbers, block from facebook, twitter, Google+ and any other networks, block her phone number on your mobile, avoid places she uses to hang out, and tell your friends to remind you why you aren't seeing her anymore if you ever show any intention to go back. If there aren't any friends around, write a post like this and post it on here and we'd happily tell you why going back is a bad thing again.

    Like I said above: it's harsh. But from what you describe you're really not doing yourself OR her a favour by staying in this relationship.

    Ideally, other than that, it might be best to try and hang out as much as possible with people closer to your own age. The older you get, the less a difference in age matters, but 9 years is still quite a big differrence when you're 23 (it's over 1/3rd of your life!). And if you're in different phases of life (with her being desperate to settle down while you're wanting to still be carefree for a bit), that creates a gap that pure attraction can't hope to bridge.


    Above all, many (*hug*)
    It's a tough situation, but you can do it!