Me and my best friend are super close. We tell everything to eachother: secrets, how were feeling, and what were thinking about. When I need advice about girls or if he's having troubles with his girlfriend, life, etc. we go to eachother. People always poke fun about how close we are. We give eachother long, tight hugs. We say I love you to eachother. Put little "<3" in our text messages. We'll cuddle when no one is around or if no ones looking. Like actually laying down in bed and cuddling. We'll hold hands when were having a deep talk or like even if were watching a movie and cuddling. Lately I have the I'll get the feeling of kissing him but that's too far. We'll joke around about how gay it is, but neither one of us will bother to stop. Lately he plays around and says stuff like he feels like jacking off or something and I'm like "Eww dude" and he laughs and goes "Help me with it" Then smiles and says just joking! I don't want any relationship with him except bestfriendship. I like how our frienship is, and wouldn't want it other way. I want to tell him that I'm bisexual. But I'm scared that he'll take it in a bad way, and feel akward about everything we do (cuddle, hold hands, sleepovers, tight hugs) and stop acting that way with me. I want to tell him cause he's my bestfriend and its been bugging me. TWO QUESTIONS: 1. How should I tell him? 2. Does our bromance seem more than a bromance?
1. Have a heart-to-heart with him. Normally I'd suggest putting it in writing, but if you two are so close then telling him face-to-face would be a natural extension of your usual private meetings, I imagine. Nevertheless, if you can't pluck up the courage to actually say to him "I'm bisexual and I love you very much but I want us to stay the best of friends", I'd recommend putting it down in writing. That way you can organise your thoughts better than you might be able to if you were actually talking out loud. Or you could compromise by writing down a list of things to say before you tell it to his face. 2. I think that's really up to you two to decide after you tell him. When you come out to him, tell him you feel like kissing him sometimes. See how he reacts. Whatever happens, be gentle and sympathetic. Hope this helps. Feel free to write to me if you need any more advice. Best, Dr. Faustus.
Aww that's too cute!! I love it when guys have those super-tight relationships and can talk to each other like that. I think you should take it really slow and see his reaction in everything you do; so as the Doc ^ advised, see his reaction and maybe see if he responds in a positive way. It seems to me you fancy him but too afraid to jeopardise you're relationship; if that's the case, maybe limit what you say to him and see what happens with you two in the future. Maybe just say I think I like boys as well as girls, though make it clear everything will always be cool with you two I hope you work it out, let us know how you get on!!
I will answer your questions. 1. it sounds like you are getting more action with him than people that are actually in gay relationships or than single people. lol. yes, look guys kid around and call each other gay sometimes, but never do you break the dude code and cuddle, hold hands, hug, spoon, or whatever else you two crazy kids are doing. so to me, its pretty clear that you guys are heavily flirting. as far as the materbation comments he is making, um its clear he wants to mutually masterbate with you. lets just say that if you did anything to him or to yourself during these playful masterbation requests, he would not stop it as long as you were still in "playing just kidding" mode. i'm certainly not suggesting you try that sort of thing though. he likes you and you like him. you guys seems to be flirting to me. 2. if you want to tell him yoiu're bi, just tell him BUT here's my thing. if you are telling him you're bi because you kinda like him and you want to know if he is bi too, then you really do not have to tell him. you can keep on playing around liek you all do and sooner or later his action are going to tell you what's going on. if you are NOT interested in him AT ALL then you can tell him but to me, friends dont do all teh stuff you all are doing so it sounds like you have some level of interest in him whether you want to admit it or not. instead of telling him flat out if you are thinking things may be weird, you may just ask if he ever thought about guys sometime forreal. ---------- Post added 28th Nov 2011 at 01:14 PM ---------- personally i just say dont change anything. just keep doing what your'e doing. if you want to tell him maybe tell him when you are not in the bromance cuddle mode because maybe he will think you like him if you tell him at that time. u guys seem really close so im sure he will accept you either way. maybe you say something like "hey bro, if i told you that i liked girls and bro both, what would you think". maybe you can jokingly ask that during one of the times you are playing around and laughing. that way, if he says something negative, you can always just brush it off like you were kidding. if he is supportive, you can come out to him. i mean, essentially he sounds like he is doing the same thing wiht you. instead of saying "hey i may like guys" he says "hey i wanna masterbate, can you help me wiht that...ahahaha just kidding". to me, it sounds like a way to test to see what you will say or do. the fact that he keeps saying this same thing is very weird. you can play around once or twice but saying this all the time seems like he may actuallyw ant to do that. anway, just be freinds for now and dont change anything. honestly, if you gusy keeps holding and cuddling and holding hands like you do, sooner or later one of you all is going to make a move on the other
