So, there's this girl that apparently likes me. Cool, right? Not so much actually... Let me explain why... 1) She's my best guy friend's ex girlfriend 2) She has another boyfriend 3) My (soon-to-be-)ex-husband cheated on me with her Let's take those one by one..... My best guy friend, "J" let's call him, was really really into her. During their relationship she said several times that she was Bi, and "Totally into me"... She is currently in a relationship, with a guy, who apparently says its ok for her to have a girlfriend on the side. She keeps asking me out and asking me out... I keep saying no and telling her that I can't be in a joint relationship, that isn't how I roll... My ex slept around with her on me while I was pregnant with our child. Granted, she didn't know he was married and all at the time, and as soon as she found out she told me. ((This was before she dated my friend, I actually introduced them)) Firstly, why would she want to be in two relationships? Are most bisexuals this way? What is she thinking? I keep turning her down, why would she keep asking?
I cannot say for sure why she would want to be in two relationships - personally, one is enough for most people, no matter what their sexual orientation is. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I'm bisexual and I'm not interested in having more than one relationship at a time. Perhaps her current relationship isn't going as smoothly as she wants it to, so maybe she's looking for someone else to fill that need. You mentioned that she is the ex of a friend of yours, so it might be in the best interest of the relationship you have with your best guy friend to not date one of his exes. I've seen people do that, and it usually hasn't turned out well. If she persists with asking even when you keep saying no, a suggestion to handle that is to sit down with her, explain to her why you keep saying no, and then go from there. Hope this helps, and best of luck :3
No, wanting to be in more than one relationship is not a defining feature of bisexuality. But she may be polyamorous. And I don't know her well enough to know why she would keep asking you out when you've turned her down, but there are a few possibilities: she's too egotistical to believe someone could really turn her down; she's so infatuated with you that she's in denial about it not being reciprocated; she doesn't think your excuse for saying no is good enough (not that you should even have to give an excuse, but that may be what she thinks); or there's some kind of miscommunication happening (e.g. you're saying something that sounds like "no" to you but isn't clear or firm enough for her to get it).
I think that in her mind, the fact that you want a monogamous relationship is something that should be negotiable. Because you haven't actually rejected her personally, she keeps thinking she has a chance. All she has to do is get you to agree that she can have a boyfriend as well, which she obviously thinks is no biggie.
