After much stress and self aggravation, I finally decided to join some friends and go to a White Party here on Friday night. For the past month, I spent my time thinking of excuses that I could come up with not to go at the last minute. My friends had asked me to go with them and at the time I had thought it was a good idea until I said yes. Well Friday came way too soon but I got the courage (or my friends would have dragged me regardless) and I met at my friends house. We had lots to drink and left. I was terrified the whole night that I was going to run into someone that I knew. Now, I'm very shy and it even took me years to come out to my lesbian friends. The whole night I was on the lookout for anyone that could have recognized me. Even though I enjoyed myself I didn't have nearly as much fun as I could have if I would have let my guard down even a little bit. In the end I'm glad that I went because like everything else I've learned in this journey nothing bad happened. Everything that I was afraid of was in my mind. No one looked at me funny, no one judged me, everyone was out to have a good time. I did have a lot of time to think and realized its time to be who I am regardless of what others think. I spent the whole weekend with my gay friends and had a great time just being able to be me. I need more time like that. Yenny
It sounds like you had a really positive experience and the more you have like it the more your confidence is going to grow. I suggest you spend more time with them, socialising publicly, to help you gain in confidence. Good luck!
