I haven't been on EC for awhile. So first of all hey to everyone! So I met a guy online few weeks ago. He is 18 and doesn't live far, so we decided to go on a date together to see what happens. We went on our first date on Wednesday, and it went pretty good. He was pretty humorous and good-looking. We ended up going to the movie, but made out the entire time. While making out, he started move his hands down and stroke my private part. I really wasn't expect this to happen on the first date but I kind of became aroused so I didn't stop him. He continuously asked me if he can give me a blowjob. I realized that it is probably not a good idea so I didn't let him. After our first date, I start to text him more often, and I would tell him that I miss him and would like to go on another date with him. One day he texted me asking how come I don't want to have oral sex with you. I said that because I don't really want to turn a date into a hookup, plus I want to get to know him more. He got all pissed and texted a 5 page long message telling me that he is tired of me keep saying he just wanted hookup because he doesn't. Today we had our second date. I wasn't planing on doing anything sexual with him, but I really wanted to be with him and I want him to forgive me on what I said about hookingup, so I finally decided to blow him. We got along quite well. He is pretty caring and is a cool guy to hang out with. When I got home I texted him saying that I kinda missed him already, and he got upset again. He said that I am taking the emotional way to fast and that I shouldn't be throwing my heart at people in case if the relationship doesn't work out. I really don't get this because he doesn't want to jump into anything emotionally but he moves quick physically and even pressured me into giving him blowjob. I ultimately told him that I need some time to calm down. I am starting to be afraid of texting him because I get so frustrated with his messages. Maybe I was taking emotional way too fast since I have been wanting to have a boyfriend, but his text just kills me. When we were talking in persons, everything was fine, but when he texts me, he would say whatever he wants, but doesn't realize how much these messages hurt me. I am really really stressed out right now and I don't know what to do....I don't really want to tell him what I really think because it might make the situation even worse.....
Well, its understandable that he might like to take things a little slower emotionally, get to know you better first. However, you have every right to take things slow physically. If he's not willing to give you your time and space, he's not worth seeing again. Explain that you feel that things are moving to fast physically, and if he wants to see you again he needs to respect that.
I know what you mean by the txting thing... People can seem so fun and nice in person but then when you text them they are assholes. I'm pretty pessimistic when it comes to people.... so take what I say with a grain of salt. It sounds to me like he is more interested in sex... and it doesn't sound like that is what you want. He doesn't sound like a very "clingy" person... like you seem with the "I miss you" txts which is exactly how I am. Some people like this, some don't. But sounds like he's more into sex. I wouldn't get my heart too involved with him. You really can't change people. You can't make him datable by wanting to go slow. He'd have to want to go slow himself. That's just the type of person he is. And he doesn't seem too interested in having a relationship. Goodluck....
Well, to put it in the worst possible paraphrasing, what he did was say "Of course it isn't a hookup! Now please shut up and let's proceed to sex!". I'm guessing I don't need to tell you what's wrong with that. To put it more subtly, he's basically willing to entertain dating you, but only on his terms. Which means he has to get what he wants (i.e. sex, but not too much of an emotional side), while you, apparently, only get to work with the parameters he sets ahead of time. That's not really a good start to any relationship. And not telling him you have issues with it is only going to hurt you (while he, of course, would still get what he wants while ot having to worry about what you think). So the best course of action does seem to be to either - decide it's unlikely to work out here and now, or - go back to him with your concerns and see if he cares at all for compromising. If not, then that's the end of it, but it's better than end up in a one-sided relationship.
