Getting on with things you know you need to do - but are too depressed to start.

Depression makes it feel like you're carrying around giant weights with you all day. You're capable of doing everything you need to do, but it's just 10 times harder to even get up and start.

I think once you start dealing with your depression directly, some of that weight will start to drop. What's the status on your appointment with the psychiatrist? Any luck moving that along?

 

since you're very young still, do yourself a favor and do phone those psychs. you are probably depressed and pretty much don't have any support in your corner to help you with your situation and that sucks. it pretty much will have you in the position where you're lazy and you don't want to do anything at all except the little things such as watching tv or getting on the computer which keeps you in your room all day. there's nothing wrong with expressing yourself or crying out for help because at least you know you have a problem and want to get rid of it. there will be people that don't realize or understand what you're going through so they'll tell you to snap out of it or act as if this isn't serious when it is. go and get yourself help.

 

I have a similar problem. I never feel any drive to do anything. Sometimes once I start I am good, others its more of a fight but still. Getting started for a little bit is a pain I know. But, the depression is in your head. I don't mean its imaginary, I know its not. But your head is depressed(just follow me here), your body isn't. Your legs and arms aren't. Lol sounds stupid, but stop thinking so much about doing stuff, just start doing it.

I know depression is shit. I am depressed, and most of the time I to do little. But, this has helped me. I read something about getting out of bed.... see what I mean?... and it was just along the lines of just move your body without thinking about it and your brain will catch up. It does work to an extent.

This probably isn't at all helpful here, but I am not a very happy person most of the time. When I am driving and listening to music though, which thankfully my job is mainly driving alone at night, and completely alone, I can become happy a lot of the time. I think I probably look ridiculous and sound awful, but driving around singing loudly and how I want really makes me smile. Of course, the music has to be able to be loud enough to drown most of me out to myself.

 

Continue pursuing the next step in setting up an appointment with a psychiatrist. Maybe also see about going in to the gender centre again. Have you been back since you went the first time? That would have something to do with your problem, and would at least get you out of the house. It would be good for you to have someone to talk to in person, anyway. Really consider attending one of their support groups so that you can meet people who are going through similar things.

They may also have a list of local employers that are relatively trans-friendly. Perhaps you could look into that as well. Maybe it would be easier for you to think about seeking employment if you could can imagine your job as part of a future in which you are transitioning. For one thing, you would need to work to pay for a lot of your treatment, which may not be covered by your Medicare.

Why do you think you should stop making threads? That's what this place is for.

 

To me, it seems like your parents are concerned about you. They might sense that your not doing well and feel that you getting out of the house will be good. Perhaps they're right, but most importantly you need to pursue a psychologist to help you through some of your percieved issues in a more personal nature.

As far as spending too much time here, I feel like that is only the case if you don't improve your knowledge of yourself or mood while here. I am of the opionion that the only time wasted is time that you don't learn anything from. We've been in contack for a bit now and it seems like you've really worked through a lot of problems here. Given that you hadn't been able to do that before, it is only natural for you to gravitiate to this site as a form of dealing with everything. I feel that once you enter therapy you will not be on quite as often because you will have another place where you cna be yourself and simply talk without having to hide behind a facade of who you need people to see you as.

I can only speak from personal experience, but my one friend I've told had to have been sick of me talking to her in the week before I talked to my first counselor and also got more interested and into EC and what people were talking about on here.

Hope all goes well, and cheer up