I recently entered a new relationship with a girl who is a bisexual. Today she told me she wanted me to read her journal and was nervous about me reading the end. So I read the end first because its whatever should be dealt with first. Okay to the point: She wrote in there something about how she knows she's bi and leaning towards women but ultimately she wants a husband and children and doesn't want to live a homo lifestyle in the future. What do I do? I'm going to ask her something like this: "I know its very early to think about but if you want to be with a guy in the long run then what are your intentions for this relationship?" Any advice? I'm not sure what to say without being really upset. Also I'm trying to do the mature thing and ignore the fact that she described(in great detail) about how much she loves(loved?) her recent ex bf and their sex life. I'm not mad about that really. I probably woulve been like last year but I'm just concerned about me not being able to make her happy..any advice on how to address that? :help: Thanks for any help family <3 On a side not: I'm still reading it. The journal is full. It hurts sometimes but its like a really good, tragic book you can't pull yourself away from...except she's real and right here..
My PERSONAL take is that you're 17, and (presumably) so is she. It may be that she still feels this way in the future, or perhaps she won't. Perhaps she'll withdraw after a time out of fear that getting too close to you will prevent her from her chosen path...or perhaps she won't. Either way, I think it was nice of her to alert you to this bit of information. Should you do anything with that bit of information? I personally wouldn't. Just keep dating her, and see how things end up. Lex
I'm surprised that she was big enough to let you read her journal like that! It must have been at least a little scary for her to do, so I'd give her a little credit for that. But I do agree with Lexington--you're the one she's dating now, so I'd focus on your current relationship with her, no matter how many boyfriends she's had. Good luck!
It's true that since you're both (presumably) quite young, there's a lot that can and will change in your lives, and there's no way to know whether your relationship will stand the test of time. But then, there's really no way to know for sure whether any relationship will stand the test of time. I think clear communication is always a good idea. The question you posted: seems reasonable to me. Is this girl open about her bisexuality, and has she been out for very long? If not, it could be her fear of judgement, or some lingering internalized homophobia, that causes her to say she wants to be in a straight relationship in the future. It's possible she will work through this and change her mind eventually. But in the meantime, I think you have good reason to try to clarify where you stand with her.
I had the same kind of concerns as here when I first started my bf. She's always had a future image in place, and its going to take a while for someone to see that they can still be happy even if its not exactly how they pictured it. For here to share her concerns with you, and she's still with you for a reason. If you really have feelings for her, then I think you should just be happy she's being honest and open with you =) She sounds like a very trustworthy person that shared those feelings because she wants to make sure she doesn't hurt you.
Thank you all for your help! We talked about it last night and it turns out that she was saying that because she was happy with finally being in a stereotypical relationship with a guy and it made her dad happy and she wasn't looked down on for it(like she might if she was with a girl). But now she's saying that it doesn't matter the gender, she likes people, and she's only involved with who makes her happy. And he wasn't making her happy. So we communicated and now we're good and I'm very honored that she trusts me that much
