For about 3 months now I've been wanting to come out, and I've had the chances but I instantly changed my mind when I see them and I should have just said it. I'm not sure why I keep doing this, every time I'm at home by myself I think "I can do this, it's not that hard, I like who I am and that's all that matters." but when I get with them it all changes and turns out exactly like I described. also, I know I'm ready, I want to do this It's not that I feel like I have to. Another thing, people for years have been asking my friends if I was gay and since I told them no, they told everyone else no. Another friend told me it angers some of them that people are asking if I am. Now I am kinda worried...(Don't get me wrong, my friends are awesome. For all this time they told people I wasn't when MANY tried to say I was and they took MY word for it, and stuck with me. I love my friends.) But now though since I am ready to come out, will they be mad at me when I tell them? for all these years they have been telling people I wasn't? It may sound silly, but I just keep thinking that it will anger them. I don't know anymore I just need some advice..
I'm kind of in the same boat you are. I'm 19 and I've been wanting to tell my friends since I graduated high school, which was more then a year ago. Anyway, it's only natural for you to be scared because so am I. At home I'll be all brave and think all I have to do is say it, no big deal, but as soon as I go to tell them, I chicken out. I can't really give you advice since I haven't come out yet either, but it's definitely good that you've come out to yourself. In theory, coming out should be easy. As long as your comfortable about who you are, then others will accept you as well. Too bad that's not reality. The only thing I can tell you is to go for it. And when you finally get the courage to do it, you can come back on this website and be an inspiration to everyone. So good luck!! I'm sure your friends will love and accept you no matter what. I doubt they'll be mad at you, and even if they are just tell them about your inner struggle. Sepphhyy
I haven't come out to any of my friends either so I don't have the best insight on how to come out but I'm 100% with Seppphhyy on this. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with yourself and if your friends are that amazing and that willing to defend you from other people, then I think they would understand. If anything, it seems like they would be more concerned over your well being than angry over you not telling them. So if you're ready and you feel absolutely fine with who you are, then go ahead and tell them
It might be easiest to pick one of them to start with. When you tell that person, explain that you just weren't ready to be out yet before. If you were in denial for any of that time, and not really admitting it to yourself, you can say that too. As sepphhyy put it, tell them about your inner struggle. Since they and others have been asking about you, it is likely that many of your friends have suspected that you are gay. They are angry that people keep asking when it is obviously none of your business, and it's rude of them. Unless you are dating one of them, they are unlikely to take it personally, and it doesn't sound like they are homophobic. So I think it's pretty unlikely that they will be mad.
heyy so I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I've been wanting to and like you I never would have if it wasn't for this one friend of mine that basically guessed it, told me it was fine and that I should just embrace it =]. I know its stupid, but i just makes a difference when you hear it out loud, when you just here that its all okay and everything that youre nervous about is really not that big of a deal. And just like you, everyone said i was gay throughout like middle school and subtley through high school. My friends defended me but i think they knew, i mean, c'mon, my closest friends had to suspect something. plus the girl i came out to even said that not many people would be surprised lol go figure, but i dont doubt that they're just gunna be happy that you're happy. They're definitely not gunna be mad at you for being self conscious of your own sexuality and what they would think, its a touchy subject to begin with. Dont let that get to you at all. You can do it, just take your time and feel out the situation.
+1 for the this-is-it-I'm-ready-oh-wait-maybe-I'll-do-this-another-day club. Completely understand what you're saying in the OP, it's like reading how my life is now!
