The doctor finally called me ( I've been trying to find things to distract me, but I've come up blank, hence wanting to reopen requests - but nothing really has distracted me ). He wants me to come down FIRST thing in the morning at 9 o'clock. He wants me to go straight to the Receptionist and ask to see him right away. He said he wants to do some tests and do some blood work before sending me to see the Physiologist. The biggest thing I would love to sort out with him is my gender problems - though by now, its almost as clear as day to me. I've been dressing like a guy since elementary school, I have a mustache, never shave my legs or armpits, I have a bit of hair on my chest and on my stomach, I've had a short haircut since grade 8 or 9, and all my friends through high school have been men. When I look in a mirror, all I see is a boy ( except for this damn figure! ) I wonder what the Doctor will think? My parents keep calling me a boy too... My Mom has even said to me, "Well, it doesn't matter what relationship your in, you'll always be the man." The subject of feminism has sparked up in my family lately. I was over at their house, and my Dad brought out some ice cream for my Mom, and I looked at him and said, 'Where's mine?' and he replied, "Get your own. We're not your servants." and Mom then said, "Well honey, get yourself a husband - sorry, wife- so you can make her get it for you." and i replied, "Why do I have the feeling I'll be the one fetching her ice cream?" and my Dad hesitated, stared at me and said, "I know." The conversation always swerves that way now. I have a really hard time opening up about my feelings offline. I usually can't say anything about them, so I'm scared that when the Physiologist talks to me, I won't be able to open up... What does the doctor want to take more blood tests and other tests? Gah! Sorry... I'm just nervous as heck! What should I say? How do I keep myself from freezing up in front of the Doctor like I did last time? Wish me luck...
I wish I knew what to say here but I really don't. I can only say I hope every thing works out like you want and hoping for the best.
I got some blood tests, and I have to wait to see the Psych until January. It wasn't as bad as I feared it would be *phew!*
