Why should I even try

Heya,

I'm not sure if it helps, but everyone has been in this position at some point in their life, whether someone's not interested in you or you just get plainly rejected. But don't let it get you down - there are tonnes of people out there that you haven't met that would love to be with you and/or even in the very same position.

Plus you're only 16, it may seem like you want everything now, but give things a little bit of time (however hard that may seem right now) and things will start to look brighter.
Also how do you know that the people around you are happy? They could be feeling worse than you but just putting on a brave face so as not to bring everyone else down too (god knows I do).

Plus why don't you vent to your friend? That's what friends are for =). Lastly you do have to try to be happy - it doesn't suddenly just land in your lap (unfortunately).
So why don't you grab your friend - go out and have a good night and maybe even do a bit of guy-hunting and soon that bloke you liked will be at the back of your mind.

Sorry that i did a lot of serious rambling there - didn't mean to lol =)

 

Being gay is hard. It is difficult for us because unless we explicitly meet up with other LGBT people, we cannot easily discern our dating pool. I also have suffered from the loneliness of not being in a relationship when all of my friends were and I particularly chaffed under the stress of being one of the go to people for relationship trouble. (Why they thought I had advice I don't know, but I guess I am a good listener.) I think it is especially difficult for you as a teen stuck in high school. In college and in the adult world there is much better infrastructure for meeting other gay people, in particular you don't have to ask your parents to drive you places.

I would say don't give up looking, but also try to accept the realities of your situation. I think you need to focus on your self esteem. Just because your crushes are straight doesn't mean "no one wants you." I wonder if we were living in a more progressive society if they might say, "you are a great guy and it is too bad I am not gay" in the way a girl might say "too bad you are not straight." I think I have friends that might say that if I ever pushed the issue that I had a crush on them. Anyway, the point is that as frustrating as it is, it is silly to judge yourself that you are crushing on straight guys. It would be like a composer hating himself because tone deaf people did not pay attention to his music. They can't reciprocate your feelings for reasons that have nothing to do with you.

If all of your friends are dating it is easy to think you can never compare to their partners. But I think this reflects an attitude about how close we can be to our friends and what we can share with them versus a boyfriend or girlfriend. BF/GFs are often treated as an emotional receptacle, so part of making up for not being in a relationship is to realize that you can share your emotional life with your friends. This is something that took me a while to do, but I now feel that I am close to a few of my friends in a unique and special way different from their relationship with their partners. This has opened up an emotional world to me and was one of the things that finally allowed me to come out to these friends, and I honestly can say that I don't feel quite so alone in the world as I once did. In short, your desire for closeness with other people does not have to be fulfilled through a romantic relationship.

I hope this helped, and if you want to talk more, short me a message.

P.S. you should never stop looking at guys