I know that I'm ready to be openly gay, but I seriously clueless on how to go about telling my best friend. I know she'll be cool with and accept me, but what should I say? Were really close and talk about anything with each other, but I don't know how to bring the subject up. I wish she would just assume and start asking me about men, but she's not going to. That did happen last night though with a friend from my college. We were out to eat and I was telling her how I saw Jake Gyllenhaal at a coffee shop a few blocks from our school, which is in Tribeca. Anyway she asked me if he was my type and I said "I would say so". I know it's dumb, and its not really like coming out formally, but it was awesome, because just for a second I could tell someone that I thought a guy was hot. So with that in mind, I've decided that it's time for me to formally come out to my best friend. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions on how you came out, I would really appreciate it. Thanks, Sepphhyy
It doesn't necessarily need to be anything more elaborate than you did with your other friend, I'd think. I'm assuming you know your best friend pretty well, and are certain that her reaction will be completely welcoming. So go ahead and have fun with it - steer the conversation towards Jake Gyllenhaal again if you feel so inclined. :lol: I find expressing it within a context is always the easiest and the funnest, because you get to see it dawn on the other person. Or, you could just go the "so, I have something to tell you..." route. It's good practice. Overall, I would just say to do it in a way that will be fun for you. You're bringing yourself closer to your best friend, so why not enjoy doing it?
If she ever comments on a guy she thinks is cute, you could say "yeah, and I get first dibs" - that's what I did My other female friend I came out to - I steered an internet conversation subtly into asking whom she found cute at school, etc, then feeding her little clues and cues as to whom I found cute/had a crush on until she clicked.
Actually I was looking some ideas up, and I think I want to write in chalk. I tell her I want to take a walk and that right it when were alone. I'm going to make it sort of a scavenger hunt. That's the only way I can think of doing it so that it wouldn't be awkward. But thanks for your advice!!
:lol: If I'd done that with my female friends, they would have said "...Ok. Cool. So, what do I win for finishing the scavenger hunt?" :dry: You could do a variant on the "noob circle" - draw a circle with a "is Gay" label arrowed to it. Then stand in the circle while she's distracted. (That might be too silly though lol)
Just bring up a guy you like, and mention that you like him. That's what I did, and it was more comfortable than over facebook.
when i told my best friend, it was so blunt lol we were in my car on our way to walmart and i was driving. so the conversation kind of died, and i just awkwardly smiled at her cause i didnt know how to bring it up, but it started a whole back and forth of "what?" so after like 5 minutes I just looked at her and was like..."im gay". sure she was taken a little by surprise but i really wanted to just tell her. However you do it, I'm sure she'll be supportive. Good luck and let us know how it goes =)
Oh! You could get creative.. like... make up a story. Or you could say it very loudly in her face (of course, not in public), and make her not believe, but later on, confirm it. Or you could do an evil laugh before saying it. Or...
/fangirl squeal, another Jake Gyllenhaal fan <3 lol. Anyways, yeah, just come up with the easiest way for you to come out to your friend
Coming out to my best friend was more emotional than it should have been. Do something fun and memorable. The chalk idea sounds great.
Im a fan of throwing it in there, or you can "talk yourself int a corner" ie, my college roomie endlessly talking about girls since day 1, (I hit breaking point 2 days later) so i ended up telling him I was gay (i planned on easing him into it), now we both complain about our love life in unison; or complaining about how your least favorite class in high school was PE bc of out of like 20 people, only 4 were guys (and they were idiots) to which I ended up explaining the fine details of my situation. we just glanced over it, but I know for a fact he got the picture when he ogled the girl in a short skirt (IN WINTER RAIN) to which i just shook my head, and he pointed at the manly brits by the motorcycles and proclaimed: "You'd be turned on too if they were in a skirt" ;D
You could try writing her a letter or an e-mail if you're not keen on coming out in person. If you opt for coming out in writing, anticipate all the questions you might get in ordinary conversation - "How long have you known?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" etc. Be gentle (remember how she might be feeling) but sincere. Emphasise that you value her a lot by being the first person you're going to come out to. That also applies if you decide to speak to her about it instead. Either way, good luck. Doctor Faustus.
Thanks everyone who gave me advice. It really helped. When I do eventually come out to my friend I'll make a post to tell everyone how it went. Sepphhyy
