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Ever feel like you just aren't good enough?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by robclem21, Dec 2, 2011.

  1. robclem21

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    Hey everyone,

    So I don't know if it has just been a rough patch lately or more than that. I just feel like no matter who I meet or what I do I just wont be good enough for any gay guys. Sometimes when I meet other guys I get along really really well with them and we have a great time and they are just straight and very friendly, but as soon as I get some time to talk and hangout with a gay guy I feel like they are never really into me.

    I guess I don't know why I am saying this stuff cause there isn't much advice to give about it. Just wondering if anyone else has this happen to them a lot. It seems to be happening with almost every guy I meet. I am starting to get a little frustrated and unhappy.

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. biAnnika

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    (1) You may be misreading them...they may be more into you than you think;
    (2) If they aren't into you, that's not a statement about you, it's a statement about them...and they aren't good enough for you;
    (3) It's a bad patch...stop thinking about whether people are into you, and just have a good time, with no expectations...but be open to the fact that they might actually like you.

    Just some thoughts. I hope you get past this soon.
     
  3. chrism29

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    biAnnika is 100% right...you are most likley just missreading them tho...you will meet someone i promisse (*hug*)
     
  4. KittyKat05

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    Even in the straight world, gay world, bi-sexual world, what have you there are going to be the same types of people. Don't take it to heart hun, some people either just like to play along, or the people who you're talking to are either not into you or they are but aren't showing it. Finding love can take some time, don't get discouraged!!
     
  5. robclem21

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    thanks.. you guys are all awesome.. and canadian... so double awesome... even biAnnika.. double awesome cause you can.
     
  6. biAnnika

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    *smile* People always think I'm Canadian, especially when I'm abroad...I do not try to correct this impression :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  7. Gravity

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    It's not just you, it happens to the best of us. I'm in a bad patch myself at the moment.

    The only thing I can think of to tell you - and the thing I'm thinking myself, too - is that if dating isn't any fun for you anymore, then give it up for a while. I mean, I don't think it's *supposed* to make us miserable. Promise yourself a month off, or a few months off, or something. It will be there when you get back, and you'll have a different perspective on the whole thing. Plus maybe some new people will be on the market. :lol:

    And hey, in the meantime, if someone you really like starts pursuing you really heavily - problem solved!

    Also, I'm from Michigan originally. Basically Canada, I went there all the time. So you can trust me too. :lol:
     
  8. squally89

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    Although is been two months since you posted this, (not sure if you are still feeling that way) I just have to have to ask "what are you looking for?".

    "but as soon as I get some time to talk and hangout with a gay guy I feel like they are never really into me."
    What is it that you talk about? Perhaps it could be the lack of common interest.

    Generalizing here, but a lot of young people our age aren't really looking to ...hmm commit(?) or they just don't understand that concept yet. Not that young people aren't capable, is just not many of them know what commitment means to them. And is different and unique to everyone what "commitment" means.

    However, if I am totally wrong (which I can be) and you are looking to get off to relief some tension I am sure there are plenty of candidates out there. Or simply use your smartphone app like ###### or Jack'D to find those kind of buddies.
     
  9. Zontar

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    Wow, you've basically hit the nail on what I've always felt.

    Ever since high school, I've felt like nobody would ever want to date me when there were better guys to select from. "I'm not good enough for anyone" really sums it up. Doesn't help when I never am noticed, flirted with, or taken seriously as a sexual being.
     
  10. insidehappy

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    i have felt like i wasn't good enough when i felt rejected by other people (gay or straight). it makes yoiu feel like "gee what am i doing wrong". what i have to realize and what i continue to tell myself is that there is nothing you're doing wrong. those people are just not for you. also a lot of times when we are not interested in people they tend to like us and when we are interested in people they tend to shy away from us. y? not sure. but here's a bit of advice.

    1. be yourself
    2. if someone doesnt want you around its their loss. other people do, so its not like your a misfit.
    3. sometimes guys will cut you off when they are not going to get what they want from you. for instance, if you're not putting out sex or sexual acts upfront, this may be something that makes guys cut you off an move on to new prospects. with straight guys they just want your friendship but often with situations where two people are attracted, one person have a motive..... and if you're not giving them what motivates them, you are eliminated.

    4. do what you love, go to activities that you love, and don't stop. you'll meet people with shared interests. some may be gay, some may not, but its a start.
     
  11. TheAMan

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    I feel you 100% of the way man. I've been trying to get a boyfriend for some stuff of time but no luck yet.
     
  12. squally89

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    I am wondering if getting a boyfriend really needs to be taken "actively"/"try".
    I seen online dating sites with "actively seeking a relationship" and I always wondered what that really means.

    The obvious feeling to me is "You are desperate" or "needy", but thats me being overly judgmental and there's nothing wrong (although people may think is "bad") to be "actively seeking" either.

    So whats your take on that?
     
  13. shane1503

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    I sometimes feel the same way - I had a time where I was meeting new people and every single time I met a girl who was into girls and we got a long quite well - she then patched things up with her ex girlfriend and I was the one who was "left out"...
    I mean what kind of coincidence is it that everytime I meet someone I find attractive and interesting that that person suddely get's back together with her ex? It's just weird...

    But now I'm not looking so I've realized that it was just a bad patch for me... if I meet someone I will and if not then I'll wait..

    I don't think it's you personally :slight_smile:
    if you really want to blame someone blame the other guys - you're just fine as you are :slight_smile: