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Can't make up my mind.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by sepphhyy, Dec 2, 2011.

  1. sepphhyy

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm flip flopping back in forth with my decision to come out to my best friend. In my previous posts I said that I was finally ready. Which I still am, but I don't know. I guess I've just got so comfortable with being in the closet. I just don't want to go through the whole process of coming out. I know I have to do it, but I can't seem to build up the courage to actually tell the people I'm close to. I'm sure I'm not the only who feels like this.

    I wish that this was easier. This post is just me venting, but if anyone has advice or support that would be great.

    Thanks
    Sepphhyy
     
  2. Aeon Magus

    Full Member

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    Hello, Sepphhyy.

    When you feel that you are ready;
    When you have the courage you need;
    When you know what you're going to say to the person you're coming out to;
    When you have answers ready for if they have any questions -

    Just do it.

    Don't back out and leave it for some other time, because chances are you're just going to keep postponing it over and over again.
    So start building up your courage, practice your coming out speech (whatever it may be) and answers to possible questions, then when you feel that you are ready, go for it.

    Or, alternatively, you could write them a letter, clearly outlining what you want to tell them, what you've been going through up until your writing of it, that you need their support, and so on and so forth (optionally, you could ask for a response to the letter)... then when you have the courage, give them the letter.

    Good luck.
    Hope you get through this.

    AM
     
    #2 Aeon Magus, Dec 2, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2011
  3. Gallatin

    Full Member

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    Aeon Magus summed it up pretty well.

    Remember, coming out isn't a race; we all do it at our own pace. If you're ready, that's fine. If you want to hold off, that's fine too. The most important thing is that you come out because you want to, not because you feel pressured or obligated to do so.

    I usually say that there's not going to be a perfect moment to come out, but there's going to be some decent ones that come along. If you're ready to come out, you'll take one of those opportunities. If not, that's okay, because it's best not to rush something like this. Wait until you're ready and confident. When you are, you'll see an opportunity, and take it.

    Good luck.