I don't like saying "I'm gay".

I know what you mean. It's been months since I came out to my friends as pan. But it was really hard for me to actually say the words. Once, I wrote it down to tell someone; another time, I had a friend tell another friend because I just couldn't say it myself. It's definitely not easy saying something like that, even if you can accept yourself. It just still feels...weird and awkward, right?

And in a way, you're more far along than I am. Because you can talk to your friends about gay stuff. I mean, I came out to my friends too, but I still find it kind of difficult to bring that up and talk about it.

I've heard though that as time goes on, it's easier to talk about it and admit that you're gay, bi, whatever. Hopefully, that's true and the both of us can one day be more comfortable with saying this stuff. ^_^

 

As for the term "gay" is, it's simply a word. Nothing else. There's multiple definitions of it, and some people might call it an umbrella term.

As for coming outs, well.. if it's gotten the job done, and you're happy with that technique, then stick with it.

 

I am kinda in the same boat. I feel weird saying it. So far my coming out phrases have been like, "you remember that person we were talking about (who we both know is gay)....well, he and I have something in common" Then I let people figure it out on their own.

 

i can relate, breh. i think it has to deal with fully accepting it and being comfortable with yourself where you can just flaunt it with no fear or shame. you are further along the journey though being that you're out to your friends and can talk about it to them so you look like you're on your way.

 

I feel exactly the same. Even though I haven't come out yet, I've practiced saying to myself. It makes me feel like I'm admitting something that is horribly wrong. Of course it shouldn't be like that, but we can't help the way we feel. I don't have any advice so I'll just give you my support and understanding. Hopefully it will get easier to say, I just wish there was a different word that hasn't be stigmatized.

Good Luck!

Sepphhyy

 

I know how you feel. Up until recently, every time I think "I am a lesbian," I get an image in my head of a bully when I was 10 years old calling me a "fat ugly lesbian bitch" (probably the worst possible words she could think of) in the school bathroom. I mostly just tell people that I like girls or allude to it "that girl is so hot..." I avoid using the "L-word" except to friends that came out to as bisexual during my period of confusion.

 

I feel like that too. By the time I learnt what gay means I'd already heard it so much negatively that I cant say it. I like using the word queer instead, it feels so much more positive to me.

 

I have felt that as well – the first friend that I told, I drew one of the symbols for bisexuality on the back of my hand and asked her to go home and look it up. I have not repeated this, as she then thought that I was transsexual and I corrected her on that, but I know that it can be easier. And when I told my mother, I lowered my voice to say "bisexual" as if it was a bad word. Now, however, I can say that I am bi without any stammer; it's admitting that I may be genderqueer that is hard for me.

 

You know what? I'll add my "Me too!"

I prefer to say "not straight", simply because it acknowledges that: "gay" carries connotations which I don't feel (or want) to subscribe to; sexuality is a spectrum and not three boxes. But I'm happy for people whom I know well and who know me well to call me gay.

I used to say to some people that I was "bisexual", as if the term "gay" itself was a dirty word. Now that I've grown to accept myself, it's not so bad. Unstraightness FTW!

 

Exactly the same with me, I use the term "homosexual" as in recent years, particularly among youths, "gay" can mean any number of things, Homosexual only means one thing.

 

You just gotta keep saying it until it's not weird. Anything you picked up from your parents can change. You can retrain your brain to not think of gay as a bad word, but just as a thing that describes you. Yes, sometimes it can mean stupid, but so what? It doesn't ALWAYS mean stupid!

I felt this way too for a long time. It didn't really change until I became openly gay. I don't walk around worrying if people know i'm gay anymore, and that makes it seem a hell of a lot less important of a word. As you get more comfortable with your sexuality, it will come a lot easier. Just remember, they're just words.

 

Haha I'm the same way as Doctor! Sometimes, I actually do say specifically what I am (pan). But half the time, I just end up saying "not straight" just because...well, it's still kind of awkward I guess? XD lol

 

I used to feel that way more so I can relate and when I think of saying I'm gay, it tends to be with a negative inflection, but it really is not negative. How about saying I like dudes or guys instead? Just matter of factly, I like dudes! I think that sounds great :icon_bigg

 

This helped me...I turned on the computer and opened Word. Then I typed:
"My name is *** ******* and I'm a homosexual." It was really awkward to type. I'd say it even stung a little and I felt exposed, but it felt good to be honest with myself at the same time.

 

I'm bi. I don't really have a hard time saying it. But I do have a hard time talking publicly about liking guys, which I guess stems from the same stigma, but also in that I only have straight guy friends or I'm around girls I may like. So, I'm unsure if that is stigma or just setting. It is hard to just come out and say I'm bi though lol - what with all the different kind of bis around which aren't sexual in nature and needing to further define it for people. Basically posting here to say there's absolutely no problem with admitting to being gay. Actually there's nothing to really "admit" to. It's absolutely normal. You could try to reclaim the word by associating it with cool things like Neil Patrick Harris is gay, Hulking and Wiccan are gay, this or that role model is gay -- that might help.

At the beginning of enabling myself to be cool with myself, whenever I saw a hot guy and I felt bad about it - I just reminded myself, "hey James Dean would have thought the same exact thing dude." And any stigma attached to that thought just went away lol. Over time it's gotten to the point where I don't need to do that and I just go with the flow.

 

same boat, i have no trouble with any other word, i can even say gay in a negative way too (used to, not anymore) but when i try to say that im bi, i cant say it, i cant say names of guys i like either but i can mumble it after i say it in my head a million times.
I kind of think to myself that it's kind of like saying Voldemort, its just a word, you shouldnt be afraid of words.

 

I don't like saying "I'm bi" or "I'm bisexual" because the picture it seems to give people really doesn't fit me at all. A lot of people think that 'bisexual' = 'wants in everyone's pants' but really I am quite picky (in some ways) and I actually am really ok simply not being in a relationship.

I usually say "I've dated girls and guys, and I don't have a strong preference," because that seems a bit more chill, I guess. If it's easier for you, perhaps you can say something similar, like, "I date guys," or "I'm into guys." You get the idea.

Also, I don't think it is wrong to not like using the phrase. Undeserved as the stigma may be, it still is sometimes uncomfortable to deal with.

 

I'm lesbian and don't like saying it. Though that may have something to do with me not being "out" yet. I don't think that you're making an excuse exactly, just more it's awkward. As you said. And there's nothing wrong with that. You can always go with the lengthy version: "I like guys, not girls."

You're saying the same thing...just in more than two words.

And that's cool you don't use certan words because you've been raised not to. It's good to have a "clean mouth." It makes a person seem more...wholesome? I don't even think I spelled that right. And I can't even check without opening a document - which takes too long with my slow computer! :bang:

But...no, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to say "I'm gay." Because it is awkward from the start when you've decided to come out.