Friends After Dating/Breaking Up - A fantasy or A Reality?

I know a guy who broke up with his bf a while back and they're still on speaking terms. And a girl who split up with her gf a couple of months ago and they are really close even now.

The way I see it, if a relationship works out right, it's because it's a natural extension of a really really close friendship. So if it doesn't last, you can still talk and relate to each other. Tbh, having one more friend is better than one enemy. It's good that you're still on speaking terms.

When you're in his company, treat him as you would any other good friend. Be casual and amicable, but not too distant and not too prying either. However hard it seems, try not to judge him for the fact that he has a bf now. He's entitled to his happiness with this other guy as much you were with him.

Chin up mate. You'll find someone else soon.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Dr. Faustus

 

My first boyfriend from a year or so ago is one of my closest friends, in fact we kinda forget we dated in the first few months of knowing each other. Another is also still a good friend. He's absolutely insane, but probably one of the few that I can meet after not seeing for a few months and it not to make it feel any different, which is what I think makes friendships last, even when people move away. The second didn't even end on good terms.

Never speaking to someone after I break up with them just feels weird with me. So I'm definitely a propagator for the "can we still be friends?" line. Just don't actually say it otherwise it screams for the friendship to fall apart!

 

I have tried to stay friends with my ex bf. At first when I broke up with him, I knew it would be tough so I tried to keep talking to him, so he had some support (a lot more of my friends knew about us than his so I had people to talk to still). For a few weeks after he kept treating our friendship like a relationship with similar issues we had which led to us breaking up in the first place.

I decided to completely cut him out for a few months until he was over me a little bit more and then thought I would try to be friends with him. A few months went by and he texted me and we tried to be friends again and the same thing kept happening. The more we talked, the more it reverted back to the same fights we had when were dating. I have seen it happen very rarely, where people can date and then be friends after.

Maybe it depends on their personalities, but as soon as any jealousy gets involved, it is nearly impossible to stay friends. My opinion anyways. Wish we did though cause I always like having more friends, but it was too tough to manage so maybe this is for the better.

 

A lot of it depends on who the people are and how the relationship ended. When my bf broke up with me, we tried to remain friends, and for him it worked out fine. For me...not so much. The main problem was that I was desperately in love with him, so knowing that he was happy and (quite soon after dumping me) dating another guy was too much for me to bear. I ended up breaking off all contact with him to the point that I wouldn't respond when he spoke to me. Based on what happened in that situation, I would be very hesitant to try to remain friends with an ex, I'll spare myself a world of heartache by cutting him out of my life at the onset, rather than waiting to see whether I can handle it.

 

I'm still really good friends with my ex. Our relationship ended on mutual terms and we both agreed that we were more friends than lovers, anyway. So the transition from romance to friendship wasn't that difficult for us.

 

It's only as awkward as you make it. If both you and your ex are mature enough to come to terms with the fact that you didn't work out as a couple, I don't see any reason why there should be any animosity between the two of you. My ex and I were in a very happy three-year relationship before breaking up. We split on friendly terms, and remain best friends to this day. We were even roommates recently, and that worked out splendidly. Zero romantic feelings left, just very deep friendship.

 

Oh, for sure. At first we didn't hang out much, because of course there were some feelings left. In fact, a few times we let ourselves get out of hand and slept together. But after a while, we both healed, and we still cared deeply for one another, so we remained close friends. Even now that I'm seeing someone else, we're extremely close.