I recently posted a thread concerning my inability to talk to my best friend about anything personal. Basically, before I came out to him I had promised myself that I would never burden him with any of my problems. Every time he attempts to talk to me about my personal life or problems, I tend to shut him down and refuse to talk about whatever situation. I lie and tell him I'm okay. You all had encouraged me to tell him why I never talked to him about this stuff, but I just can't do it. In the passed two weeks, I've literally had over 4 days worth of time alone to talk to him and I just can't bring the words out of my mouth. I have been holding a lot of negative emotions to myself for a long time now without talking to anyone. I feel like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode and I know that's a very unhealthy thing to do. He's the only person who really knows me, he's my only real friend (I'm only out to him), and the only person I'm close to. I'm not close to my parents. I have a question and answer/yes and no relationship with my family. Part of me feels that I cannot trust them because of their ignorant stance on homosexuality. I'm slowly losing my mind and I know what I should do, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't wanna suffocate my best friend. We've known each other for over 12 years and he's like a brother to me. I need someone to talk to. I just don't know how to start that conversation. How should I go about this?
Hey there, I'm not sure if I saw the original thread, but regardless, I'm sorry you're not feeling so great right now. Start by writing a letter. Address it to your best friend. Pretend at this stage you're actually going to send it to him. Tell him everything you've always meant to tell him - how you're struggling to cope with your sexuality, how you want to tell him but can't and so on - but have never had the courage to go through with it. Tell him, in this imaginary letter, everything you've bottled up inside you. When you're done, read over everything again. Then ask yourself if you think it wouldn't be so bad sending that letter for real after all. Try that, see if it works. Feel free to write to me if you need to. All the best, Doctor F.
I have to agree with the doctor here. If you write a letter and make it as if you are going to send it to him then you will know how you what to talk to him. Or at least what you want to say to him. Its never easy talking about some things but it will get easier over time. Best of luck and hope everything works out just as you want.
