I'm Pan-sexual, but I told a lot of people "I think I'm a lesbian" How do I come back from that? I'm so scared people won't take me seriously or will be mad... The reason I thought I was just a lesbian was some issues with my ex, which were extreme and make me nervous around men. ~~~~~~ I have lied, several times, to the person I am almost in a relationship in. Mostly because I'm scared to get to close. I kinda wanna tell him, but mostly don't.... I'm afraid my friends or family will let my lies slip to the person..... Not sure I expect advice here, but I needed to let it out...
Well from what I've heard female sexual attraction is a lot more fluid than male sexual attraction. Females are more attracted by things like personality, ideas, and stuff. Guys are a lot more attracted to physical things like a person's appearance. Thus, women's sexuality is a lot more likely to change over time. People will understand, just say that you thought you weren't interested in being with a man anymore, but you realized that he's different (*hug*)
I would just explain to people that you came to the wrong conclusion about your sexuality. Just explain that you had a lot going on in your life that made you make the wrong conclusion, and now since some of those have cleared up you can see that your not a lesbian, but instead you are pansexual.
I always knew I was attracted by ones personality rather than gender. Even before I knew of the word. However not everyone will get it. My close friends know and to me that's all that matters. Don't stress that too much. Sometimes we invest too much time categorizing ourselves we end up even more confused. I find it easiest to just say, I look for personality not gender. Using Pan-Sexual seems to bring out more questions and theories.
I'm not sure if that is completely true. I don't believe sexuality changes over-time, but that you just discover new aspects of it. But in any case, you were attracted to women only for a while, because you hadn't met any men that you found attractive at the time. Now you have, so ta-da, you're clearly pansexual. It doesn't mean that you weren't pansexual the whole time. Just do like thecat06, explain to people that you had a lot going on and that you've now discovered that you're pansexual. You might need to explain to them what it means. But I'm sure they will take you seriously if you explain it to them. It's not like you've been changing your mind about your orientation and giving them new updates everyday. It takes time to discover one's orientation.
Well, that's true, but I guess what I meant is that ON AVERAGE (I want to stress this) female sexuality is a bit more complicated than male sexuality, and is left more open to self interpretation. At least that's what the research I have seen has shown, but everyone's experience is different.
Being myself pan, and out only to my boyfriend, I would recommend that you say since you were going through a hard time with your ex at the time you said you were gay, you had being turned off all men, but now you've gotten over him, you realise you still like boys. I'm sure everyone has had their heart broken before and can relate
not so much having my heart broken as being seriously abused in several ways... You are right.... I love all you guys! You are so awesome... EC = Amazing
