I'm in a confused state. 5 out 7 days of the week I wish I could crawl back into the closet. The other 2 days I can't even say that I'm happy being me. I feel like a fake and fraud when I hang out with people that don't know that I'm gay. My friends that know keep pushing me to come out. I feel very alone even with them. How do I accept myself I guess is the big question? Sorry not in a very positive mood today I guess.
If you choose to come out its up to you. No one can force you to come out, so tell your friends firmly but politely that you appreciate their support but you will come out when you're ready. ---------- Post added 6th Dec 2011 at 10:09 AM ---------- It can take time to accept who you are- for me it was actually relatively easy as I never had a problem with thinking that I'd fall in love with a girl if they were nice and it was nice to put a name to it- so I can't honestly relate to these struggles to accept oneself, though I can understand them. But we're all here for you to help you accept yourself
To isolate these two points you made - it sounds like, for all practical purposes, you *have* crawled back in the closet. This may be what's bothering you. The thing with coming out of the closet is that it's more a way of life than a one-time-and-it's-over deal. You'll always be meeting new people who will assume you're straight unless otherwise informed. I think your friends are right - coming out more fully would be good for you - but of course it's something that needs to be done at your own pace, so while they may be right, don't let them pressure you, either.
I think there are times when it is good to come out, say when you feel comfortable with people, you think people will react favorably or because you get to the point where you would rather be out (regardless of the response). It is totally right that you shouldnt let your friends pressure you, but perhaps if you spoken to them about how you feel you could work out if there are any ways that they can support you and help you feel more comfortable. Is there any chance you can go to a LGBT group or something, somewhere where you will perhaps feel more comfortable and can be yourself without any worries.
You guys are right! I am going to talk to them about not pushing so much. I know what they do is in my best interest but its kinda stressing me out. Gravity ~ I think you are right when you say I'm back in the closet and thats what I'm upset about. That I have to figure out how to deal with it. It has been a process and I can't go back now. Thanks for responding....
Anytime. The problem with straight friends sometimes is that (and its through no fault of their own) they cannot understand how hard it can be to come out. Perhaps if you discuss it with one or more of them they may have some good ideas.
