Confusion

It might help if you say why you think you are genderfluid?

 

It is possible to have a female gender while recognizing the privileges and advantages of being male-bodied, and having no interest in becoming bodily female. I wouldn't think of that as gender-fluid...but I would think of it as fairly well-adjusted.

 

I can relate to your situation. I've thought a lot about gender reassignment as well. I ultimately decided that it is simply not realistic for me (if not just for the simple fact that I would make a terrible looking woman) and that it's more important that I learn how to embrace my masculinity. Sometimes I get scared that in 20 years I will have a wife and kids and feel that I can't go on living if I don't become a woman. What can you do though? It seems like all anyone can do is make the most of what they have.

 

That's how I used to feel before I started watching videos like this.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq7c0JfG1lY&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]

Now I really feel like damn near anything is possible. I haven't deciding I'm going to transition or not, but look at the pictures in my album. Do I look girly to you? Lol, I don't think so. If its something you really want then don't give up so easily (*hug*)

That goes for you, James, and well... anyone else on the site too! If you ever want someone to talk to you can send me a message any time =)

 

im sorry but i dont know.everyone is different and im not exactly 100 percent sure what genderfluid is.i dont see a difference between genderfluid or bigendered but hey,just take some time to find urself.it will come to u,believe me.im questioning my gender right now also.ik how hard it is.and ya..just like @j snow said..if u want something bad enough,dont give up so easily..and btw @j snow,i liek that vid.its interesting and that song is awesome but yea @james h,there is plenty of people on this site who can help you,support u and relate to u..u can message me anytime u want,im here.

 

oh so genderfluid is when at times u feel like female and at others u feel male and bigendered is wen u feel bout at the same time>

 

Well, not to knit pick (and these are very similar concepts with only slightly different meanings) but... bi-gender is described as "a tendency to move between feminine and masculine gender-typed behaviour depending on context." So as I understand it bigender and genderfluid are actually very similar terms. Compared to something like genderqueer where you are always kind of in an androgynous "in between" identity.

 

hmm it still confuses me..geez i feel sloww

 

Well like I said, I'm kind of fuzzy on the specific differences between andryogynous, genderqueer, bi-gender, and genderfluid myself. You're welcome, but I wouldn't quote me on anything to do with any of these above. I've heard different things from different people and I'm no expert.

 

My over-used two cents' worth - I think sexuality and gender are much better considered as continua (i.e.; dynamic, fluid, never totally fixed). :icon_wink

Secondly... the video you put up, J Snow - beautiful! (I must admit I found her before and after her transition quite gorgeous!)

 

My understanding of the difference is that bigendered people flip from one extreme to the other, whereas genderfluid moves more "fluidly" though the gender spectrum, and is as likely to end up anywhere on that spectrum?

Everything I've read suggests that although transitioning is difficult at any age, it is easiest done and with fewest regrets the younger you start. But if you're not sure you want to change, then it also sounds like that desire often becomes more imperative as you get older, so you may well reach a time when the choice is clearer. Good luck!

 

so is genderfluid the same as genderqueer?

 

Hmm this is interesting. To what extent is people's confusion about their gender usually due to the complications of having to imagine all the ways that males and females get treated differently? Is this possibly the most important factor in determining whether someone will transition, or even whether they identify as transgendered in the first place, or what subcategory of transgendered (cross-dresser vs. bigendered vs. transsexual etc.)

I have wondered whether my personality is more masculine-weighted than I realise, or whether my visual presentation has contributed to more of my past discomfort and dysfunction than I realise, and I just can't admit to myself only because I'm too chicken to try presenting as a more-feminine-than-average male instead of a more-masculine-than-average-female. If I were a boy, my lack of interest in fashion and poor aesthetic awareness wouldn't make me wonder what people are thinking about me sometimes. That's the most tangible example I can give but mostly my feelings about trying to live up to female expectations are difficult to explain.

However, as a girl I'm perceived as nerdy, strange and sweet (as in, I seem to trigger people's protective instincts, perhaps in the same way the character Sheldon Cooper does, whom I'm a nicer version of in many ways and I can even visualise myself wearing his clothes happily). As a boy I'd be perceived as unacceptably weak, defective and an easy target by certain people. But would it be worth it anyway?

Much of my pondering has boiled down to weighing up the privileges I would lose as a boy - most importantly the relative ease with which employers in the industries I'm interested in would hire a tomboy over an effeminate man, and the ability to dress and act however masculine/feminine I like without living in fear of physical assault because of it - against the difficult-to-articulate sense of comfort I feel when I imagine presenting as the type of person I feel my unconscious mind visually represents me as: male-appearing, feminine body language, nerd-dressing, and mentally... alien.