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Need an opinion on this

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kylegf2011, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. kylegf2011

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    The other day I went to a Britney Spears concert (it was the best day ever!!) but thats not the point lol. I went with my family, cause my parents wanted to go with me cause they know I like her so much. But they didnt have a clue that alot of her fans are gay. I thought they did, but they didnt :dry:

    So we got to the concert and we started seeing all these gay couples. I was actually enjoying it, cause I was seeing with my own eyes that Im not alone :slight_smile: But my parents and my sisters were very disgusted by it. They couldnt stop commenting on them. Normally I would have commented with them, to keep my secret very well hidden, but this time I just didnt say anything.

    My mom started getting annoyed with the amount of gays, and asked me if it was normal that Britney had so many gay fans. I said yes. Then she said stuff like, its so sad, what do they expect of life, its against nature, and asked me, what do you think of them. And I said I didnt care, and this is when she got kind of scared. She asked me if I didnt think that two guys holding hands looked wrong. I said I didnt like to judge people, and she started getting very nervous. So she asked me if I didnt think gay people are against nature and I said no. So she asked me.... so do you like them?? but in a very horrible tone, I started freaking out inside, but remained calm in the outside, so I was like "do I have to like them to tolerate them?" and she asked me so are you gay?? but in that horrible tone and I was like "do I have to be gay to tolerate them?" and she insisted, and I couldnt do it!! :bang: I said I wasnt.

    Also my dad the other day told me to start listening to different type of music and talk more about girls cause my mom was very worried :icon_sad: I said I didnt care what others thought about me, that not because I like "gay" music I have to be gay.

    Eventhough I didnt tell them, (and I actually denied it :dry:slight_smile: I feel I made some progress by saying Im ok with them, and that I dont care what people think of me... I hope, I just wanted to know your opinions on this, and if you could give me some advice on how to manage this situation, it would really help alot :slight_smile:
     
  2. MusicMan12

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    ok well first of all, that's pretty rotten of your dad to tell you to start listening to new music.

    As for the coming out stuff goes, if you weren't ready, that's FINE! :slight_smile: Things need to go at your own pace.

    This is actually very Ironic, because Lady GaGa is going to start her tour in the near future, and my parents know I love Lady GaGa and want to go to a concert with me. And obviously, that will put them in the same position as your parents, and will put me in the same position is you. So I probably would have done the same thing. So don't get down on yourself about it.

    Did they enjoy the concert at least? Or was it just uncomfortable the whole time sitting with them? I would like to know cause like I said, this is gonna be me soon haha

    Good luck with everything! I hope your coming out process goes smoothly! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Jinkies

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    Hmm.. Sounds like somebody doesn't want to see past stereotypes. *rolls eyes* Okay..

    Yeah, it kinda sounds like a situation I was in.. except my mom had previously asked me if I was a homophobe. At the time, I was just getting out of being one, partially because I'd recently discovered I wasn't straight.

    You can tell your parents (your decision, It's just a suggestion) that there are gays who do like hard rock and metal, including, but not limited to, AC/DC, The Who, Pink Floyd, Avenged Sevenfold, Five Finger Death Punch and Bullet For My Valentine.
     
  4. kylegf2011

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    Yes they did, we actually had a good time, the only awkward parts were when we arrived and when we left. :icon_wink
     
  5. PaisleySounds

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    I'm sorry that your parents are acting so narrow mindedly. It's really sad for me to hear them assuming that if you don't hate gay people that you must be gay. I can only imagine how hard it must be to hear your parents talk like that. I don't have any advice to offer you, but I feel for you.
     
  6. Doctor Faustus

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    Sorry to hear about that. I don't think you should come out yet, if your parents are so uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex couples. You have made progress by indicating how tolerant you are (your response "Do I have to be gay to tolerate them?" was absolutely right)... and of course your parents have no right to judge you as 'automatically' gay for going to a Britney Spears concert even if they think they do. You have to come out in your own time and on your own terms; if you believe it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing.

    If it's any help, pretend you've decided to come out. Say everything you would say to your parents and close family in real life, but on paper. When you finish writing it all down, read over it again and then ask yourself whether coming out isn't so bad after all. Just a suggestion.

    We're here for you anyways, through thick and thin. (*hug*)
     
  7. Menaki-Neko

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    If you want to drop hints at first instead of telling them at first that's fine. I'm trying to come out to my mom, but it's a lot harder than what I thought it would be, so I've been dropping hints. When the bishop came in to tell us how wrong homosexuality is, I told my mom about it, and I at least had enough courage to disagree with her. I know for sure that she's homophobic after that, and it was a bit of a set back knowing for sure. But that's the downside of dropping hints first, I think that you should just come out to them.
     
  8. Samadhi

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    Though you didn't come out to them at the time (I'm not sure, but it might not have been the best time to do it) - I loved reading your calm and honest responses :grin:
     
  9. kylegf2011

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    thanks for the advice you´ve all given me :slight_smile:, you have no idea how much it helps me to talk about it with someone and to know there are others that have been in similar situations.