I've been struggling with transgenderism for years. I don't want to become a woman, but I find the whole concept to be erotic and enticing. I don't usually feel attracted to guys in my day to day life but I get turned on by the idea of sex with men as a woman. Sometimes I am attracted to guys... but every time I have ever tried any thing with another guy I've just hated it, and then I hated myself for doing it. I keep feeling compelled to experiment with the idea that I am actually gay, only to find out that I'm not again. I get lonely sometimes though... I feel like I'm not enough of a man for women. I'm ashamed of my cross dressing history and my fascination with becoming a woman. I wish sometimes that I could just be gay... be into guys... have it all make sense. I wish that I had a scene where I knew I fit in and that there were others like me. It can be so confusing sometimes. The only sex I have ever enjoyed has been with women. Yet relationships can be hard for me... because I feel like I have to be tough and macho and dominant. I wish that I could be soft and sensitive sometimes too. I get tired of putting on a show, putting so much effort into sex. I just can't imagine a woman wanting to be in a relationship with a man who wants to dress and act like a woman sometimes too. The whole thing seems ludicrous to me... and I am embarrassed that it's something I desire. Can anyone relate?
I have to leave in a few sec, but I'll make a quick reply. I cannot directly relate as your situation is different from mine on most points, but in my reading up on the transgender topic I have come across people who are like you describe. Actually the therapist I'm seeing this week is a straight guy who cross-dress. He has a wife and children, and is a successful professional with a medical degree. I also recently read the story of another guy exactly like you. He too was in a successful relationship for many years with a woman, until she died of cancer. Point is, there are plenty of people like you, and there are women who have no problems with cross-dressing. Now, how you find those, I cannot say
Hey Paisley, welcome to the site =) There's nothing at all wrong with how you are feeling. It sounds to me like you are a heterosexual cross dresser, who desires to be the submissive one in a relationship. Surprisingly, I don't think that's as uncommon as you think. If I remember correctly something like 54% of homosexual males feel more submissive, where as I think like 32% or something like that of heterosexual males would rather be the submissive party in sex. I doubt the numbers are exact, but the point is that while male heterosexual submission is less common, its still not uncommon. As far as heterosexual cross dressing goes, its everywhere. Its not at all an uncommon fetish, and there's absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal about it. In fact, believe it or not there are women out there who who are into role reversal, stuff like cross dressing, pegging, and forced feminizaiton. Find what makes you happy and run with it =]
just do whatever feels right.maybe ur just a heterosexual cross dresser.only u can find otu how u feel so just experiment around and give urself time.try to figure out if ur just a crossdresser or if your gender is female or not.and just liek everyone else said,there are plenty of heterosexual cross dressers.u just have to find the right girl.if u r only a cross dresser,..yea sum people mite hate on u for it but u got to stand ur ground.u r who u r.now all u got to do is find otu who u r exactly and ull get lots of support here.if u ever need to talk,im here
